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What to do When People Reject Recognition

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Are you ever hesitant to recognize people…I think I know why…

Have you ever praised someone and had your recognition rejected? You probably wonder and ask yourself what did I do wrong, I don’t get it?  I was trying to do something positive by telling the other person “you deserve this”, “I appreciate you and you’re doing a good job” but the reaction I got was not at all what I was expecting (or even downright offensive). 

Let’s take a step back for a moment. Let’s get some perspective. When we can do that, it’s easier to not take it personally. 

For example, maybe it’s not about the recognition at all. The other person may be going through something their life that is making it difficult to accept recognition at that moment.  Perhaps they lack self-confidence to be able to receive positive feedback. And let’s not forget that as Canadians, we’re a pretty humble bunch and are not used to taking compliments. 

If giving recognition is not dependent on the other person’s reaction, then you are less likely to let it deter you from giving it. Persist and show the other person that you are sincere and that he/she truly deserves it. 

Here are some additional strategies and tools to help fuel positive recognition:

  1. Find Out How People Want To Be Recognized

Survey people on their preferred ways to be recognized. For those of you who have used the recognition and motivation assessment tool, you’ve probably already discovered that people are as diverse with their preferences of recognition methods as they are with their personalities. It’s amazing how many people come back to me and they say, “I have no idea what a unique subset of recognition preferences I have in my team.”

  1. Practice The Three Recognition Methods Almost Everyone Prefers

There are three effective ways in which people want to be recognized: 

  1. Verbally say thank you
  2. Tell the person specifically what he/she is being recognized for 
  3. Write a thank-you note

Written forms of acknowledgment can be a more comfortable method for those people who have difficulty giving recognition face to face (we talk more about this in my book in Chapter 5 if you’re curious).

  1. Value Your Colleagues’ Strengths

You can use the VIA Signature Character Strengths Survey (it’s a free evidence-based tool out of Penn State University’s Positive Psychology department). This tool can be used in a team setting or one-on-one. By knowing everyone’s strengths, you are better able to notice them when they show up. And when you notice them, you can recognize them. Bonus here is that people often value their strengths (that’s why they keep growing), so when you recognize what people value, the recognition is more likely to be received well.

  1. Unconditional Recognition

Now unconditional recognition is sometimes debated (shouldn’t people do their job and we only recognize going above and beyond?) However, in today’s quickly evolving world, not only is the employee experience a pioneering way to think, but recognizing someone for doing their job is a strategy to keep them engaged (and doing more of what is working)! Often times we only give praise and acknowledgment based on metrics, indicators of performance, and place the bar exceedingly high yet often on quickly evolving priorities. Instead, let’s recognize anything that’s working, however small when we notice it, as well as the huge milestones and exceptional performance. 

  1. Create A Positive Recognition Environment

Positivity on the whole naturally fosters positivity in return. When you invite positivity into your team environment, you are helping to build a more collaborative team, stronger organization and increased continuous improvement attempts. It’s a mindset where you are recognizing people for the greater good. It goes beyond just you and the other person – it benefits those who witness it, customers they’ll deal with later and their families they go home to. Not to mention the endorphins, those ‘feel good’ chemicals your body produces, which flow through your brain, triggered as a result of positive thinking and behavior.

“I hope that I’ve helped you in some way to understand how important recognition is and how to deliver it”. It’s an important part of our lives and all too often we forget to acknowledge it. I would love to hear your feedback on any of these strategies or what the outcome was when you used them? What other strategies would you suggest?  And please share below another tip you would add to the list! 

Want to check out more resources about how you can recognize other’s greatness? Check out these articles:

How our Biggest Crisis Led to Our Juiciest Possibility

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As you may already know, a few years ago my family experienced a huge transition when we moved to Niagara. It all was precipitated by one of our kids having a very serious mental health crisis. At the time, I was working as a senior leader, living in a small town, thinking everything was fine. We were unaware that for years, my child had been bullied. And it was getting worse.

I quickly learned, by speaking with the principal, coaches and daycare workers, my son was being bullied by everyone except our home and a few select friends’ houses. We were horrified. How could we let this happen? Why didn’t we know? What would happen to him if we couldn’t fix this? And the crushing reality was this: he would be with the same kids that had been bullying him for years until the end of high school (because there was only one high school in town) if we didn’t make some major changes.

As hard as it was to do this, we restarted our life. We sold our house. We sold our cottage. We uprooted our family mid-way through the school year.

Part of the transition included me leaving a senior leadership role and starting my own business. It was a very scary decision, not to mention one that shook my ego and identity. But I had a vision one day.

As I was on a yoga mat, a beautiful picture popped into my mind. I had such clarity in that moment. I knew exactly what our destiny was. I pictured standing in the middle of a converted barn and was facilitating a group of motivated professionals. I realized this was my barn and my house was on the same property. I could, in this vision, see out the window at rolling hills and a lake beyond. I felt happy, lightness and purpose.

I knew that this was our destiny.

Sure enough, we went on the hunt to try to find a place and hit many dead ends. Until one day my parents sent me a picture, my mom standing in front of an old barn. We went to look at the house and barn that night and I knew, from the moment I stepped out of the car, this was the place I had envisioned (prior to renovation of course). And it’s how we wound up back in Niagara, on a beautiful piece of property on Sixteen Mile Creek. Four years later, that barn is almost ready to be a retreat space and my office.

Why do I share this? For many reasons.

  • We often forget to dream and imagine possibilities, shutting them down as impossible. But are they?
  • We see all our debt, obligations, responsibilities and feel immobilized. But are you?
  • We get so busy caring for others, working and living life that we get so burnt out we can’t move forward. Is this a wakeup call?

Now is not the time to hit the snooze button on your life. Wake up calls – illnesses, family crises, disengagement at work, toxic colleagues, angry spouses – are a wakeup call. What do you need to pay attention to? And if you did, what opportunities might you create for yourself that you wouldn’t have otherwise? In other words, how could the things in life, like my son’s mental health crisis (that fortunately has now abated) be a blessing versus a curse?

I have some other videos you may be interested in watching to help you clarify what’s next for you. Why not check out:

And you never know where our paths might cross. Perhaps you will find your way to a retreat here at Greatness Magnified, learning and growing with me in our new preferred future.

“Which Opportunity Should I Take?” 5 Ways to Make a Career Decision that Aligns to Your Greatness

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I received an interesting question through LinkedIn recently from a colleague who was struggling to make a decision about which career direction to take. See if you can relate:

“I have three opportunities and I don’t know which one to pick. I’ve really been paying attention to my greatness and honoring my greatness that you keep telling me to do. But now I’m stuck because I have three big choices, all of which are great, but now I find I can’t make this huge decision! Any advice?”

So you have the full context, here are the three options: (1) pursue his Ph.D., (2) accept a management promotion, or (3) take a headhunter’s offer to switch into a new industry with a growing start-up.

He was excited about all three of these options. All lead to very different but equally exciting future opportunities. When you have so much greatness, and you’re excited about all of them (but cannot do them all), how do you make such an important decision?

It’s a good problem to have, of course, but what he’s getting stuck in is what I see with lots of talented professionals: FOMO – fear of missing out. He’s concerned that if he doesn’t make the “right” choice (thinking there must be a right choice), then long term he may have regrets. He worries it’s all on his shoulders to figure out which option will ensure his career thrives. And, that he makes the choice that allows others important considerations – kids, spouse, lifestyle, location – are ideal too.

So how do you make career decisions when you have so many great options? Here are five tips:

1. Greatness Fit

What truly are your greatness – your talents, passions, and virtues? How does each option feel like a “natural” fit? How does each option uniquely position you for the next step that also fits with your greatness? Which option aligns best with what you’ve been building to in your life and you want to continue along that path? This is the Greatness Fit Test. Most often when I explore this with my clients, they find at least one option falls away as it’s what they “should” do or thought they wanted but really it was for ego, to please others, or they didn’t know themselves as well as they do now.

2. Solution Fit

What problem(s) can you solve in each role? What solutions could you contribute? What do you feel most passionately about addressing? If you didn’t help solve it, how does that sit with you? Are you okay with someone else solving it in their own way or it not getting solved, or are you uniquely called to address it? Again, when we consider how you can serve by fixing a problem with your own take on the solution to that role, company or industry, one of the options tends to be lower on the list.

3. Legacy Fit

If this position and the opportunities it leads to was the last career move you could make, what legacy would it leave? What level of impact and influence will you have? What difference will you make? Is it the type of difference and magnitude that you’re satisfied with? Picture yourself on your retirement day, giving a speech about this very turning point in your career, what would you say? What was most important to you about the legacy you felt compelled to leave, and how did this career change move you one step closer to that legacy? Not every role has the same legacy magnitude; no doubt one of your options will leave less of a legacy or not the type that is most important to you.

4. Articulation Fit

If you were to capture each of the options, which are easiest to articulate? And what generates the greatest energy for you? In other words, write about it – journal, write a blog, create a LinkedIn post, or write a list. If the spoken word is more your thing, record yourself talking, be a guest on a podcast or talk about it with a friend. If you get even more energized articulating the role, what problem you solve, how it’s important, then you know you’re onto something. If you find your energy wains quickly, well, that’s a sign it might not satisfy you as long as the other options.

Bonus Tip: The other benefit of this tip is that you start producing content on your expertise. Carve out a niche for yourself, even if you work for someone else, by positioning yourself as a thought leader. You may start articulating yourself to make your decision, but keep it going so you get more and more known.

5. Live Fit

Can you live by your choices for a day? Whether it’s job shadowing, visiting campus, or a realistic job preview, experience what life might be like in different roles. You may think you know – you’re taking the same position for a different company or you’ve been to grad school before – but there’s nothing like seeing and experience it for yourself at that moment in your life to awaken your whole brain to the experience. Decisions can be very cerebral until we are feeling the reality.

Know someone going through a career or educational decision-making process? Why not share this with them! You can also visit the Cool Stuff Page for some resources!

Still stuck? I invite you to jump into my calendar for a virtual cup of coffee and a chat!

Should I have a VLOG? How to Spread your Greatness Through Video

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In January 2017, I released my first VLOG (video blog) and it was bad! The lighting, the rambling, the sound quality, well, let’s just say I have striven to improve.

As I’ve shared before, perfect is the enemy of progress. So, it’s still up there and rather than take it down, embarrassed and beating myself up, I remember anything new needs work. And, I go back to the original intent: add value every week to my connections to elevate their greatness in work, family, and life. In other words, VLOGing is not about me. So, pushing ego aside, the VLOGs stay…all of them.

You may have the same intention of adding value to those you serve, and want to break into VLOGing but aren’t sure how. I get it. It can feel daunting, that only people who speak for a living or communications professionals can do it. Or maybe you feel the investment in equipment or to learn editing is too great. Or maybe you’re just worried, “what if no one watches?”

What if I shared with you that people don’t necessarily want perfection? They want to listen to people they know, like and trust and are actually not as caught up as you might think on wordcraft, sound, lighting, etc. They just want to learn and be inspired, and you have that in spades (however if you don’t offer it, they can’t receive it!) What if you could find people to help you produce the videos so they don’t take more time and energy? What if the right people watched and you made a huge difference in their lives?

Leaders, what if your employees watched your VLOGs and felt more connected to you? Support departments, what if your internal stakeholders watched your VLOGs and were less confused, more consistent and felt more supported by you? Sales professionals, what if your clients watched your VLOGs before you got on the phone, making those sales an easier conversion?

Do you see how VLOGing is for everyone?

So, if you see VLOGing may be for you (or your team or organization), the next question you may be asking is how? I’ve learned a lot from trial and error as well as learning from experts. Here’s six tips to allow you to serve in a way that is fun, sustainable and credibility-building:

1. Plan your content

What is at the core of what you do? What topics and questions do your clients have related to that? What processes, tips or advice could you provide that would make their work and life easier? What do people ask for repeatedly that would allow you to serve them immediately without filling up your calendar answering the same question repeatedly?

TIP: Keep a list of tips/hacks, frequently asked questions and trending information you could turn into a VLOG.

2. Consider if it’s actually an investment

Sometimes I hear, “I don’t have the money in my business/department to invest in this.” Maybe so, however, have you also considered how VLOGing is also an investment, such as saving you time answering the questions? Is it a way to generate the right pipeline of clients, enhance your organization’s reputation, or build your credibility? Is it a way of saving money in another way if folks have timely access to a library of VLOGs?

TIP: You don’t have to do the production and distribution yourself. Hire a videographer to film and edit and have an assistant share it to the relevant groups. In fact, batch film VLOGs to maximize your time and the professionals you work with.

3. Speak to your audience

Who needs to consume your content? Have a very clear picture in your mind, perhaps even speaking with your target client/audience about what they most want to learn from you. If you’re not clear, wait until you are, but this is the perfect time to get clear as to whether you work for yourself or in an organization, you’re doing yourself a disservice by not being crystal clear who your primary customer is.

TIP: Make a list of the 10 things that keep your target audience up at night, and make those the focus of your first VLOGs.

4. Share Valuable Resources

You are the expert, and whether it’s an internal process, hack you’ve come up with, or a trend recently published in your field of expertise, share the wealth through your VLOGs. The more unique value your audience gets from watching your VLOGs, the more they will come back for more.

TIP: Keep a folder with relevant articles, hacks, and resources you would like to cover in future VLOGs.

5. Use a Template to Plan Content

So that you organize your ideas and create compelling content, use a template to organize your thoughts. In one page, you can map out a brief VLOG (and brief is good if you want to keep busy people’s attention). If you’d like a copy of my template, just email me info@greatnessmagnified.com; I didn’t start from scratch (thanks Martin Latulippe and Dan Martell for sharing yours with me).

TIP: Start with a template then make it your own so it feels fun, authentic and makes sense based on how your audience likes to consume content.

6. Maximize the Investment

When you create and work so hard to produce these videos, make sure that you’re really maximizing them. We have our videos transcribed using Rev.com, so for a dollar a minute, we have them transcribed into a written blog post and LinkedIn post. Or you can modify it to be a newsletter article, all-staff announcement, PR release. Here’s another opportunity to leverage experts (for example, my wonderful virtual assistant, Caroline Davidson uploads all VLOGs to YouTube, tags them, creates the weekly newsletter, publishes a post to LinkedIn, and shares to social media). You don’t have to consider this just to be one 5-minute video, but rather the start of valuable content you can share in a myriad of ways to serve your customers.

TIP: To truly maximize your investment, ensure the end of your VLOG has a call to action, meaning what you want people to do as a result of watching this video. Is it to sign a petition, book an appointment with you, follow you on a particular social media site, book a health exam, cuddle their kids more? When they do something as a result of your VLOG, now you have ROE (return on effort)!

Have you found this helpful? If you have, why not subscribe to my YouTube Channel so I can add more value to your life every week.

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