I AM Enough…and so are YOU!

you are enough with Sarah McVanelI used to think I was career-first.  

That work dominated my time and thoughts with not enough left over for my kids and husband.  I have spent too much time over the last 20 years secretly beating myself up (and being jealous of my playful hubby when he had more time and energy to play with them when they were little). 

It never made me a better mom and wife, and person. That undercurrent of “not enough” lurked in every shadow, and as soon as the evidence presented itself, it was “ah-ha, see, you should have ____.”  “You’re not spending enough time with them” became a default narrative. It was a constant knock on my character. 

you are enough with Sarah McVanelSure, society likely embedded it within me before I was even childbearing age (actually Brené Brown‘s research has validated this as one of the top reasons women feel shame), and sure, my generation likely hadn’t wrestled to the group the seemingly juxtaposed “you must be a good mom” with “you must be a high performing professional…we did burn our bras to give you this chance after all“. Does that matter now?

What if WE get to decide what the rules of quality are?

And what if we got the chance to decide the “rules” we thought existed have been proven false, unvalidated science. In fact, we’ve proven that the null hypothesis in the experiment of life is actually true. After all, for many of us, these experimental conditions were created during the more powerful moments in the living laboratory of life. And we’re often too busy to evaluate if our “truths” are real or not.

The gift of this past year has been perspective.

To stack up all my hypotheses and take a good hard look at what was true and where there has been insufficient evidence.

  • What evidence do you have that your mothering is not enough?
  • What evidence exists to substantiate that you must double your business every year to be a success?
  • What evidence do you have that you could be a more loving and supportive wife?
  • What evidence do you have that you’re a “bad friend”, “poor daughter”, etc.?
  • What evidence do you have that you’re not enough

(Can you relate?)

you are enough with Sarah MvVanelSo, regarding my value about family, I have settled into an inner knowing that my children and marriage have always been my priority. Hours spent together aren’t the key metric. The ratio of “more work hours to family time” isn’t a marker of my quality as a wife and mother.

There’s an unquantifiable quality of love and connection I pour into important relationships. It’s a fluid thing. That’s what makes it magic. And who would have thought…it was there all along, and I just wasn’t seeing it.

You are ALREADY greatness (and turns out unbeknownst to me, every minute, even when I wasn’t at my best, I was too).

Here are a few more resources that I hope will help you to “have it all”:

Nurses Week Resiliency Reboot

It’s not too late to join us for the Nurses Week Resiliency ReBoot! Whether you and your team attends our 9 sessions live or you catch the recordings, you will get ALL of the wellness courses, eBooks and apps we have for you. Connect with us today!”

Nurses Week with Sarah McVanel

“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.”

– Mother Teresa

Judy Kucharuk

Director, Marketing and Special Events, Encana Events Centre

"Funny, full of energy and incredibly motivating – all words to use when describing Sarah and her passionate stage presence. We were fortunate to have Sarah join us as a speaker for Spark Women’s Leadership Conferences and her presentations about leveraging greatness hit the core of our objective at SPARK: “A rising tide lifts all boats”. I would not hesitate to recommend Sarah to other organizations that are searching for a well-prepared, well-organized, thoughtful and passionate storyteller."
Shelley VanVeen

Learning & Development Manager, Libro Credit Union

"Sarah brought so much energy and enthusiasm to our International Women’s Day event at Libro! Her message was uplifting, thought-provoking and truly appreciated by our team. Dealing with Sarah was wonderful – she was open, professional and willing to work with us to customize her message to incorporate our culture and connect to our topic and participants. During the session, she was a pro with a powerful message and a fantastic delivery. We had wonderful feedback from all that attended and can’t wait to have Sarah back for another session in the future!"
Sylvia D’Intino

Executive Director, Community Living Hamilton

"THANK YOU so very much for leading the engagement activities today! You’re a constant professional, with an amazing attitude and always seeing the great in everyone. I am grateful for how you have helped us this year to transform our in-person staff recognition events into virtual and on-location events. Our staff feel more inspired, appreciated and motivated after they hear you speak, and I know our amazing in-house team here looks forward to designing engaging appreciation events with your support."
Melissa Chaulk

Manager of Professional Development

Canadian Dental Hygienists Association

"We work hard at CDHA to give our members a wonderful conference experience, so we were thrilled to have received resoundingly positive feedback on Sarah's opening plenary keynote. It was the highest attended of the entire conference for both dates!"
Jamie Campbell

Director, The Center for People in Organizational Development, Sheridan College

"Smart, challenging, innovative, committed, dependable, and reliable, I highly recommend her for all your recognition needs. I have brought Sarah into my last two organizations to help build a culture of recognition and celebration. The focus on appreciation is more important now than ever."

Some of the Great Organizations We Serve