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Three questions to determine if you’re in burnout mode

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What do you do when you’re exhausted, tired and stressed, and you worry that burnout is right around the corner?

Many people experience this; people I coach, or who come up to me after a keynote and say, “I really want to be able to implement the things that you talk about, but I just don’t have anything left to give.” I get it. I’ve been there. You’re prioritizing too many things, for example, juggling kids, work, and volunteering. You are juggling so many things you’re making circus performers jealous! (In fact, I recently interviewed my speaker colleague Christine Laperriere who just released a book about burnout). You are doing the best you possibly can, and yet when you look at your life, tired at the end of a busy day, you worry it’s still not enough.

It is enough.

I was speaking with someone last week who was totally and utterly burnt out. And she knew it. She was getting up at 5:00am to get a jump on emails, leaving the house with her child in tow by 6:30am and at work by 7:30am. She worked through her lunches, attended meetings and crisis responding all day, only to come back to her office by 4:00pm to try to wrap things up and still leaving later than planned. She’d shoulder all the responsibilities of raising her child, then back to handling email with her laptop in bed. Too tired to even have a glass of wine (so it was serious). She woke up feeling defeated and went to bed feeling worse.

Can you relate?

So how do you get back to a place where you can be recharged enough to believe it again?

Well, to start off, I have a few free resources that will help:

  1. 10 Tips to Prioritize What’s Important in Work and Life
  2. Compassion Satisfaction to Compassion Fatigue Chart

You can find them here for download on my website. With these tools, you will have greater clarity. But what next? What more can you do?

Here’s five essential questions you can ask yourself to help you re-calibrate. These solution-focused questions enable you to get back to a resourceful place, feel hope, and take small steps forward.

  1. What do I most want?

What is the most important priority? Is it time for fitness? Getting more leisure in? Going back to school to switch careers? Getting enough sleep every night? Having more family time? Getting off the screen? Write down everything you want, asking yourself “what else, what else” until you are out of ideas. Then circle the three MOST important things you want.

  1. What is possible?

Under the three most important things you want, ask yourself what is possible? What could you do? Get up a half hour earlier? Go to bed sooner? Take a class or two? Read a book a week? Meditate every morning when you wake up? Make Friday nights family night? Walk at lunchtime? Keep asking “what else, what else” to consider every possibility, no matter how wacky!

  1. What is my next step?

Of all the possibilities, what is one step closer toward it? What are all the possible next steps? Which are easy to implement? What are going to have the most impact? What do you enjoy? What could you get help and support for? Of all the options, which is the ONE next step you chose? Remember, if you’re overwhelmed, more than one next step may be too much. Just pick one, and celebrate it before moving on.

Let’s look at how this works in action.

Let’s say you want to exercise more. But you have no more time in the day and you feel overwhelmed just trying to figure out how to make it work. Could you set your alarm 15 minutes earlier and just walk around the block? Could you get a headset and walk around your office while you’re on the phone? Could you walk to the mailbox rather than drive? Could you go to the gym at work before you go home? Could you go to yoga on weekends rather than try to fit it in during the week?

In other words, what will give you some momentum?

It’s essential to start with what you most want, and then when you know what you most want, get creative about what’s possible. If you hate the gym, don’t make it part of your plan! If the weekdays are already too packed, look at weekends! There is always a way that doesn’t have to make you feel guilty, pressured or more stressed.

What we may do instead is say, ” I want to lose 50 pounds” but that goal is so long-term it’s unmotivating. It may not even feel possible. Instead, consider the root of what you want and build possibilities from there.

If there’s one thing you take from this today, please know, if you’re tired and exhausted, perhaps frustrated, it’s not because there’s anything wrong with you. It’s because you’re amazing and you’re trying to do so many things because you’re capable, in demand, and needed.

You don’t have to deplete yourself to still be amazing. In fact, the least selfish thing you can do is to make some of those choices, put some intention towards prioritizing what’s most important, so you can be the best version of yourself, for your family, your community, and in your career.

For more on burnout, check out that interview with Christine Laperriere on Work-Life Wisdom! And enjoy any of the resources we mentioned here and many others at https://greatnessmagnified.com/cool-stuff/

How our Biggest Crisis Led to Our Juiciest Possibility

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As you may already know, a few years ago my family experienced a huge transition when we moved to Niagara. It all was precipitated by one of our kids having a very serious mental health crisis. At the time, I was working as a senior leader, living in a small town, thinking everything was fine. We were unaware that for years, my child had been bullied. And it was getting worse.

I quickly learned, by speaking with the principal, coaches and daycare workers, my son was being bullied by everyone except our home and a few select friends’ houses. We were horrified. How could we let this happen? Why didn’t we know? What would happen to him if we couldn’t fix this? And the crushing reality was this: he would be with the same kids that had been bullying him for years until the end of high school (because there was only one high school in town) if we didn’t make some major changes.

As hard as it was to do this, we restarted our life. We sold our house. We sold our cottage. We uprooted our family mid-way through the school year.

Part of the transition included me leaving a senior leadership role and starting my own business. It was a very scary decision, not to mention one that shook my ego and identity. But I had a vision one day.

As I was on a yoga mat, a beautiful picture popped into my mind. I had such clarity in that moment. I knew exactly what our destiny was. I pictured standing in the middle of a converted barn and was facilitating a group of motivated professionals. I realized this was my barn and my house was on the same property. I could, in this vision, see out the window at rolling hills and a lake beyond. I felt happy, lightness and purpose.

I knew that this was our destiny.

Sure enough, we went on the hunt to try to find a place and hit many dead ends. Until one day my parents sent me a picture, my mom standing in front of an old barn. We went to look at the house and barn that night and I knew, from the moment I stepped out of the car, this was the place I had envisioned (prior to renovation of course). And it’s how we wound up back in Niagara, on a beautiful piece of property on Sixteen Mile Creek. Four years later, that barn is almost ready to be a retreat space and my office.

Why do I share this? For many reasons.

  • We often forget to dream and imagine possibilities, shutting them down as impossible. But are they?
  • We see all our debt, obligations, responsibilities and feel immobilized. But are you?
  • We get so busy caring for others, working and living life that we get so burnt out we can’t move forward. Is this a wakeup call?

Now is not the time to hit the snooze button on your life. Wake up calls – illnesses, family crises, disengagement at work, toxic colleagues, angry spouses – are a wakeup call. What do you need to pay attention to? And if you did, what opportunities might you create for yourself that you wouldn’t have otherwise? In other words, how could the things in life, like my son’s mental health crisis (that fortunately has now abated) be a blessing versus a curse?

I have some other videos you may be interested in watching to help you clarify what’s next for you. Why not check out:

And you never know where our paths might cross. Perhaps you will find your way to a retreat here at Greatness Magnified, learning and growing with me in our new preferred future.

“How can I start my own business?” The Question Every Talented Professional Will Ask at Some Point (Unless You Give Them a Reason Not To)

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Last week  I discussed how leaders and business owners who are running amazing organizations don’t need to worry about their best people having side hustles in this new gig economy.

On the flip side, if you are running or working for an organization and it is not a great place to work, I have been giving fair warning to employers, “It is your job to build an employee experience where people want to work. It is important to know that we have a talent shortage and that you are a valued member in short supply.”

And believe me, it’s on people’s minds. One of the top questions I get asked is: “How did you make the move into entrepreneurship?”

It’s a relevant question. About 50% of us are in the gig economy in Canada and this is a trend worldwide. It’s an easy way for professionals to test the waters of entrepreneurship and to discover if it is right for them. You can experience it in low-risk ways, such as being part of a marketing team, or setting up an e-commerce business, or speaking at events in your evenings. There are many shapes and forms to entrepreneurship today, and it doesn’t have to carry a risk for individuals but does allow them to experience if it is a good fit for them.

For businesses, this is a good thing.

  • If it’s not a good fit, your top talent will stay employed full-time
  • If they like it but have a big mortgage or risk-averse, you can at least keep them part-time
  • If they are good at it, they can bring those intrapreneurial skills to work with them
  • If the workplace isn’t a good fit or unhealthy, folks will leave on their own versus presenteeism setting in

If you’re the employee or leader considering this, how do you set yourself up for success? Here are a few tips. And employers, take note, as this is helping you to better understand the landscape of the gig economy.

1.You Already Have All the Formal Education You Need

One of the biggest barriers I hear from folks is: “I just need X certification/degree and then I’ll be ready.” In 99% of cases, I disagree. What got you hired will get you hired again (by an employer or client in the gig economy). You don’t need anything else. And this includes a business degree (trust me, I don’t have one!) Now, some guidance from a coach or some virtual programs on entrepreneurship might come in handy, but you don’t need to be a bigger expert in your field. You just need to own your expertise. This is where I see the biggest gap (which is why in my virtual program we deal with this early on to squash the fears and actually build the brand around your expertise).

2.You Can Still Have a Great Lifestyle

Some worry about their lifestyle going down the drain by having a side hustle. They assume they’re going to be working even more hours in their business, taking time away from fitness and having no time for their partner or kids. This doesn’t necessarily have to be the case. Have you watched Netflix lately? Cut that out. Do you scroll and scroll through Instagram or Facebook? Do you run errands more than once a week? There’s your found time. Consolidate that time and use it. You may find, by making more efficient use of your time and making better choices, you actually work fewer hours in your job and side gig!

3.You Can Afford It

I often hear folks saying that they will start their business when they can afford it. When they’re retired. When they pay off their house. When their kids go off to post-secondary education. I said this too! If that’s what you want, amazing! However, if it’s a limiting belief that you can’t do it until then, know that you can. It wasn’t until we had a family crisis that pushed my decision to move into entrepreneurship formally, but you know what, I had been working in the gig economy for years, being asked to speak, facilitate retreats, and train. I would take a vacation day (cleared with my boss of course) or do it on a weekend. It didn’t hurt financially, it brought in extra cash (although looking back I way undervalued myself in price…but that’s for another post). I felt wealth in other ways too; I always felt grateful to be able to do work I loved, learned something new, and had perspective how great I had it with my employer. You can afford to do your side hustle now for sure, and, if a lot is on the line like it was for me, the question sometimes becomes, can you afford not to become an entrepreneur?

If you are concerned about feeling disloyal to the organization you work for, remember, you’re not necessarily abandoning your profession. You don’t necessarily have to leave at all! Employers and leaders, if you’re worried your best people will leave, give them the space to learn and grow from these new experiences! In the succession planning world, we used to have to pay to have our employees get stretch assignments; their side hustle may fill that need for them at no cost to you!

Here are some tips to help you along with thinking about building a business on the side. One of the most interesting, and sadly, ironic things that I have seen over the years during team consultations, keynotes or when people are struggling in their job, I remind them that the people who work part-time are usually the most satisfied people in the whole place.

Sometimes this can be a both/and solution, cut back your hours, have a job share, or work part-time. As your business grows, it doesn’t have to be in one world or the other. It’s a very limiting, fixed mindset thinking to believe it’s an either/or.

So now you may be wondering: What are the things that I can be doing to investigate this and to move ahead? Here are a few tips:

1.Listen and read.

Fuel your knowledge by listening to podcasts and/or reading books about entrepreneurship, marketing, and sales, etc. There are specialized podcasts and books out there that are amazing. The value of the content is tremendous. If you have some questions and specific recommendations for podcasts or books, just pop them in the comments below.

2. It’s a side gig! Enjoy it.

As I mentioned before, this can be a side hustle. By seeing it this way, you have very little financial investment and stress attached to that which, allows you just to play, and fun, and experiment with your business idea. Experiment to see what you love and what you don’t. Then if you go full-time, do only what you love by specializing as an expert in what fires you up, delivering the “how” in a way that best fits your preferences and lifestyle. Then subcontract out the rest!

3.Always Find the Win-Win!

Be very intrapreneurial in your organization. Volunteer to do projects (things that you want to learn about and interest you), contribute more than is expected, seek out collaborators that you can learn and grow from. For example, to work for yourself, you’ll need to be able to pitch companies and speak confidently about your products and services; perhaps there’s something you can do with the communications or sales team at your current workplace to learn and get comfortable with this skill set? The more you’re able to practice the skills where you are, the more you’re able to see if you like it or not, but also be able to learn. Your workplace is a learning laboratory. Whether you’re learning it to only invest it into your workplace, or even your own future too, it’s a win-win.

4.Speak up.

If there’s something that you don’t like about your workplace, that you would stay if it weren’t for this thing, then speak up. What concerns me is when people make the leap to entrepreneurship it’s kind of like jumping into a new relationship just because they’re so different from the last person that you dated. If you choose to move into entrepreneurship part or full-time, you want it to be for you, for your passion, to serve a need, as opposed to that scarcity and just trying to escape.

5.Frame the plan.

Consider the context or a framework in which you need to learn, and grow and think about your business. I have a great resource for you – the Genius Greatness Biz Blueprint. Discover from it how you can clarify your professional credibility, education, and experience that will make you stand out and get hired. Identify the customers and industries want to keep or start working with. Identify what could potentially be a marketable business, how to build out product offerings, how to identify clients willing and needing to buy from you, and a few tips around sustainability in business as well. It’s all the things I’ve learned through big investments in coaches, taking programs, being mentored and trial and error over the last four years.

Did you find this valuable? Why don’t you subscribe to my YouTube channel so you don’t miss a single weekly VLOG.

But I’m Exhausted: How to Recognize Yourself and Others’ Even in Overload

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An interview with special guest, Christine Laperriere, owner/founding partner of Leader In Motion and Executive Director of Women of Influence Advancement Centre. Christine is passionate about Women’s Advancement and helping them learn how to stay happy despite being so busy.  Learn more about the mindset and strategies needed to get through it all.

Sarah:

Today, I’m pleased to introduce you to my amazing colleague Christine Laperriere, the head of Leader In Motion. We were going to talk about something that we’re so passionate about- women’s advancement and the lack of recognition – but here’s the thing; we’re both showing up at 4:30 in the afternoon at the end of the week exhausted and we’re exhausted! Instead, we’re going to have a real conversation here about what it’s like when you are fatigued and the lack of recognition that comes when that happens.

Christine:

We can definitely have a talk about that because that is top of my mind right now. Doing all this work with the Women of Influence Advancement Centre is a big part of my day job. I coach women through their careers to help them move into promotions. It’s amazing because here I am; I’ve got a screaming toddler and an eight-month-old baby who’s teething right now. Basically, I’m juggling it all. Sometimes the idea of advancement in the first place is just exhausting.

Sarah:

It’s fleeting moments when we consider: why would anyone want to advance?

Christine:

True, When you are thinking, you have more than I can possibly handle. Please, I don’t need anymore! I see this a lot when I’m coaching women. I see them struggle with being exhausted and under these incredible demands and feeling like they don’t want any additional responsibility. They don’t want any additional leadership. I just got off the phone earlier this morning when a coaching client went from an individual contributor to over the last year and a half she was given a team of 10 and then another team of 10 and then another team of six.

Meanwhile, she’s a busy mom at home raising children. She just said, “All I need to do is get as much done as I possibly can in a day so that I can get home and be a mom,” which is another important job for me. Sometimes I think to myself, “How do we do this? How do we do this all?”

Sarah:

I too see with coaching clients that they internalize this: if I can’t get it all done I’m a bad contributor or I’m a bad mom or terrible spouse. It’s amazing how many of us look around and think others must have it figured out. Not only is it rarely true, but it also robs us of the opportunity to recognize our greatness, what we are doing well and what we are doing right.

Christine:

It’s definitely a matter of understanding how to manage the standard that you’re going to hold yourself to when you’re juggling more than one thing. I think one of the things that I was talking to her about was how, before I had kids, it was easy to find four extra hours. Not that my life outside of work wasn’t very important, but there were other things that I could try to delay, move or reschedule. Unfortunately, I can’t reschedule a teething eight-month-old! I don’t get the luxury of coming home from work and finding four additional hours while I’m juggling a teething eight-month-old. It’s interesting how the idea of balance, like the standard that we set on ourselves, it has to be modified for the number of demands that we’re carrying. The bar that I used to jump in my career was much higher. Today, it’s got to be a little bit lower so that I can manage it all. I need to be pretty good at a lot of things versus awesome at everything. I’ll raise the bar again next week when his teeth are here.

Sarah:

Maybe we realize the expectations don’t have to be that high anyway. Maybe we actually have much higher standards than we need to. Because one of the things that I’ve learned through the work you do in supporting women’s advancement and the research is that what holds women back is that we put our heads down, keep working harder, and expect our blood, sweat, and tears will eventually pay off. Not advancing? We do more. Then the bar is higher, not just for ourselves, but others have a higher bar for us too. We expect it’s going to get us noticed, but that’s not what happens, is it?

Christine:

Right. To bring it all together, I’m finishing a book called “Too Busy To Be Happy.” Ironic. Maybe you’ll understand why I feel like I’m an expert on this topic being too busy to be happy, but at the end of the day it’s juggling all of it and let’s say the bar that we put on ourselves, I still come back to, can you answer the question, “Are you happy?”

When we set expectations and standards that are so out of reach and then we start on that treadmill and we’re running, running, running, we end up losing sight of actually just being happy. I’ve made it a passion of mine to figure out how to be busy and happy. Somewhere along the line, the idea of this work-life balance thing came along and it made me feel like I needed to have a life on the top of a mountain and meditate for nine hours a day in order to be happy.

I felt like I was conflicted because I really love my busy life, but there are just moments where I no longer am happy. For me, it’s just trying to find out how do we be busy and happy. Not feeling quite so exhausted all the time.

Sarah:

It’s so important to be both busy, and not feel guilty about that, and happy. When we aren’t, we often aren’t living our greatness and not recognizing ourselves. What are some of your best tips for people to be able to recognize themselves even when they feel like they’re busy and perhaps not getting it all done? How can they still recognize themselves?

Christine:

I think it’s going to sound really simple, but the prioritization of the things is important. When you look at the amount of energy we’re trying to expel on so many different priorities at the same time, the first thing I end up doing when I’m talking to somebody is coming back to, what are the most important things? Such as, “Okay. I need to be an awesome mom and deliver fantastic results at work, but are those are the only two things or do you also want health, friendships, and other things? What are the things most important to prioritize?

If you have a sick parent, over delivering just isn’t in the cards, right? It’s about survival. Understanding what are those two or three most important things that have to get done right now. It’s funny. You can take a look at your day where you’re spending your time and see how well aligned you’re spending your energy and time with the two or three things that are most important. To me, it’s the fastest way.

One of the things I do all the time is I’ll say, “Open up your calendar. Where have you been for the last week or so? Let’s take a look at where you’ve been spending your time.” It’s almost instantly an “ah ha” moment for people when they’re feeling too busy to be happy.

Sarah:

I just want to take a moment to acknowledge, Christine, that in your busy day, you still valued and prioritized our relationship and our conversation.

Christine:

One of the things I’ll say on that note, it’s so funny because I’m very particular about where I spend time and energy. But if a relationship is bringing good energy and it actually raises my energy level versus depletes my energy level, I prioritize it. That relationship goes way up in my importance of things to do. I think that’s been one of the biggest things that actually helps me manage my stress levels. Our relationship is energizing for me. It made the top of my list when I did have a free moment to do a VLOG. Thank you so much for being a part of it. And thanks for the great work you’re doing helping people leverage recognition in themselves and at work.

Sarah:

If you want to learn more about Christine and her website is www.leaderinmotion.com. And we’ll be sure to keep you updated on Christine’s new book that’s coming out in early 2019! Christine, I hope you’ll come back for another interview!

Christine:

You’ve got it!

Three Tips for Deciding When to Say, “No.”

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“No”. Why it so difficult for so many of us to say such a little word?

It seems like such a small gesture, and yet, it can have a huge impact on our productivity, focus, and happiness.

As our work and home lives become busier, being confident and willing to say no is more important than ever. It’s essential so that we don’t burn out. It’s the key to staying in love with our work or business. It enables us to keep time for the things and people that matter most.

Now, on the surface, some might think folks struggle with a lack of assertiveness. In actual fact, the individuals I coach more often express that they worry they won’t appear professional, they’ll seem disloyal, or they’re not a team player.

Besides this not being the case, there are other consequences of saying yes to the wrong things. You can get burnt out. You can get resentful. You might get so buried in work no one notices you and the extras you’re doing (this is particularly true for women; for more on this check out Women of Influence’s research 7 Pitfalls of Women in Business)

When we say no, especially when we say no to the right things, then we can do a better job on the things we say yes to. When we focus on the things that are most essential, we can get them done more efficiently and faster, providing that positive dopamine hit in our brain allows us to move on to the next thing. Not only that, we role model for others as well as discern and evaluate the most effective and important things you need to do with your time.

The question is: How do you know what to say no to?

I know this dilemma all too well.

About four years ago, I had a meeting with my business mentor. It was a challenging point in my career. I had climbed the corporate ladder, had a great job and title, a healthy pension and pay cheque, and stimulating work. However, my family needed more than I was giving them. One of my kids had been, struggling with mental health challenges for years and it reached the tipping point. But what could I do? I was in a senior leadership role and had a huge workload, carrying a pager 24/7 and feeling the weight of a growing workload on my shoulders. This was what I signed on for, though, and it was non-negotiable.

Or was it?

My business mentor said to me, “If you had to cut out 15% of your time what would you give up?” My immediate response was, “nothing,” but she said, “I don’t believe it. I’m the CEO of an eight-figure company and I could cut 15% of my time from work if I needed to, so why can’t you?”

So, I did. In that moment I realized – with my expectations, desire to contribute, and attempt to become indispensable – was putting the 15% on myself.

How can you cut back 15%? Well glad you asked! Say no in order to say yes to what matters most by:

1.Evaluating What’s MOST Important

If you or someone in your family became seriously ill, if you moved jobs and you had to cut out 15%, what would you cut out? Make a list. If you don’t know, start keeping track of the things that don’t matter. As soon as you add it to the list, start making plans to cut it. If you could do it for someone you love, you can do it for yourself.

2.Hire and Ask for Help

Decide on and list the tasks that you don’t need to do. Tasks that eat up a lot of time, are fiddly and take you away from the things you need to focus on in your work and business. Unless you are the only one who can do it, you love it, or it’s your superpower, consider a plan for how to pass it on.

Remember, it may not be your talent and strength, but it’s someone else’s. Give them a chance to shine. Give them a job. Give them a stretch assignment. Keep track of those things that you’re doing that you don’t love, things someone else can do better and more efficiently for you, and find the right person to take it off your hands!

3.Creating a Prioritization List

When I get a client request, I go through my Greatness Priorities. It’s my prioritization list that helps me decide if it’s a job I should say yes to or no to (often helping the client more by referring it on to someone who is a better fit in expertise or cost). It’s a mindset of “earning the yes” rather than scarcity thinking of accepting work out of fear.

To give you a sense of a list, here’s mine in order of most important:

I get asked to do a lot of things for free or at a seriously discounted fee. Not only will that mean I can’t stay in business for long, it takes time away from the people that motivated me to start this biz in the first place (my family). There’s only so much of me to go around – time and energy-wise.

What are your priorities? What makes a request an easy yes and what, when you think about it, makes for an easy no?

Would you like a few more tips to help you decide what you say yes and no to? Jump over to the Cool Stuff tab on my website for an infographic (you may want to share it with your colleagues and spouse!)

Three Ways You Can Enjoy a Family-Centric Business

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I know many entrepreneurs, whether it was a side hustle or a full-time business, who started out excited, optimistic and energized about what their business could do for their life and that of their family. Family-centred entrepreneurs who had high hopes (as they should!) to bring in a good income, travel (combining work and pleasure) and improve their lifestyle. Yet, the reality I hear so often is that people are frustrated. Not only are they not seeing these things, they wonder why they embarked upon their business in the first place.

It doesn’t have to be that way. But I can certainly relate.

In my first year of business, I had a mandate of being a family-centered entrepreneur. However, my lack of boundaries (a carryover from when I worked full-time) seeped into my entrepreneurship habits. I worked too many hours, sacrificed sleep, would forego fitness for a client request; I even accepted a speaking engagement in another province on my daughter’s 10th birthday. Sure, I had to make my business work (I had no Plan B), but the whole reason for making the change was to be more available to my family. What I was doing wasn’t working. Only I could change that.

It would be easy to think that I would have to make a trade-off. Earn less money to have more time. More family time or time for exercise. Grow small and steady and keep my ambitions at bay.

What I found, however, was that you can fall back in love with your business without sacrificing the things you want and need – a good income, a good lifestyle, a happy family. It starts with believing, from a place of abundance, that you deserve success of your own design, and that it can happen.

The alternative is that you feel resentful, exhausted, deflated. That you have no white space in your brain or time in your calendar for creativity and creation. That you let your health be sacrificed leading to problems on the short and long-term. That you feel you can never win, no matter how hard you try.

You can win. Your family can win. Let’s ensure your biz is working for YOU. (And BTW if you are reading this and you don’t have your biz open yet, no problem. I don’t want you to go through the mistakes I made…here’s the recipe to start as you mean to go on!)

Here are my top three tips on becoming and staying a family-centred entrepreneur without sacrificing profits, passion, and people-relationships:

Get clear on your priorities

When you have a request from a client, there has to be an order of priority in which you use to evaluate if that is the right client and the right engagement to accept. This includes anyone who has a side hustle in the gig economy of which we know by 2020 50% of us will be there. Here’s mine in order of what’s most important:

  1. Is it a family friendly fit?
  2. Does it fit with my expertise and passion?
  3. Does it pay what I’m worth? TIP: Click here for more on this topic.
  4. Do I like the client/company (is there an alignment in values)?
  5. Do I have capacity?
  6. Does this open the door to other opportunities?

If the answer is “no” to the first one, it’s unlikely I’ll proceed. To test it, I’ll go through the rest to be sure.

For example, I had the opportunity to spend a month and a half doing some pretty exciting international speaking and coaching work that would allow me to grow as an entrepreneur and exponentially grow my network. However, over a month away from my family, at a reduced fee, and it overlaps with a few client engagements (meaning I’d have to break my loyalty to them); by evaluating it against my priorities, it was an easy “no”. If I had tried to fill my schedule, add an exciting international twist to my biz and gain bragging rights for being on this tour, I might have said “yes”. See why it’s so important to know your priorities? It helps you when tempting opportunities and diversions arise that may be great, however, they aren’t necessarily great for you or great at that time given your current priorities.

Be open about being a family-centric entrepreneur

You want to attract clients and businesses that also prioritize lifestyle and family; by sharing that you are a family-centred entrepreneur, they may actually be more likely to want to work with you! Sometimes we worry they won’t; a scarcity mentality convinces us that we are lucky to have any work so don’t be too demanding. However, you will likely find what I’ve found, that they will respect you more for taking time to ensure client fit, that you are selective, and that you are making a conscious choice to work with them; by them knowing that you see that they are the right client, it sense an entirely different message than “I will work with anybody, doing anything.” Of course, it’s a two-way street, they have to pick you too. But why be in the running for something you don’t want anyway?

Being a family-centric entrepreneur is about being clear about what you hope your business does for you, because when you’re clear on that then you attract those opportunities. If you want to be able to travel more, if you want to be able to do creative things, if you want your family to be brought into the business more, those opportunities will become available to you.

Recently, I brought my daughter to a speaking engagement in another province. I worried at first the client would find my request, ‘unprofessional,’ but in actual fact, they thought it was a great idea! This professional association was mostly female with their demographic rapidly changing to an entrepreneurial model. It was perfect timing to have the keynote speaker share a visual message to the membership that they too could find ways to get the family involved in supporting their businesses! For us, it allowed my daughter to experience the direct benefit of my job, making her less likely to be resentful the next time I needed to travel for work, and my son is excited for when it’s his turn!

Family Shareholders

If you an incorporated official corporation, consider ways in which you can build shareholders into your business. Obtain some advice from your accountant, but what I’ve done is ensured the ‘Minute Book,’ of the corporation reflects that my nuclear family members are all shareholders. This means I can pay them for work they do in my business (e.g., shipping orders, putting handout packages together and editing videos.) Check out my friend, Tim Packer, a talented artist, who now has his son doing videos and social media full-time!)

Even if your family isn’t on the payroll, they likely give you business advice, support and help as needed, so you may choose to cover business meals and travel (we have included that we will have up to two Shareholder Meetings at a location inside or outside Canada in our corporation’s Minute Book to make it official and above board.) It gives us a reason to get away from our house, from the office, and take stock on important things like: what’s working and what’s not, what should be the priority projects for the year, review last year’s financials and project the upcoming year, and evaluate how well the business is working for everyone. Just don’t forget to record who you met with, what the meeting was about, and, if it’s a big expense, evaluate your profits against the expense to see if you can justify it! Again, I’m not giving you accounting advice as that’s not in my scope of practice; I’m just sharing what I’ve done.

This is what I do in my business to stay family-centred. Not only does it make my family less resentful of my business, they’re thrilled that my business is growing and successful. I love my business so much more because I’m not fighting against two worlds. You can be a family and lifestyle centred entrepreneur too (maybe you already are!) It’s not one or the other. It’s not career/business or family/lifestyle, it’s a both/and. Enjoy the best of both worlds. And that doesn’t mean it’s perfect all the time. If you strike the right balance 90% of the time you’re doing great! And the result: you’re satisfied and your business thrives.

Want to chat about how you can start or evolve your business to be more family-centred? Jump into my calendar for a 15-minute chat!

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