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Greatness Magnified

How to Handle Grief: Leveraging Recognition to Survive Loss

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Using recognition, even in times of our greatest grief, can provide comfort and touch people lives.

My Auntie Sue had not even reached her 60th birthday when she passed away from cancer. She was an incredible person, full of life, positive, happy, had many friends; we couldn’t believe her life was cut short. A year after she passed, my family gathered for a celebration of life. We knew we wanted to remember her, but we didn’t want it to feel forced or awkward. So, we took a leaf out of Auntie Sue’s book and we made it fun.

We used F.R.O.G. Forever Recognize Others’ Greatness™ to honour my Auntie Sue.

We took a frog charm with a pink ribbon for breast cancer. Whoever was holding the charm shared a memory, a funny story, an attribute or gift she had, or a story of how she had touched their life.

By the time it got to her husband (my uncle), he was choked up. “I wish that we had done this when she was alive.” One of my kids looked at him and said, “Well, why don’t we that for each other now?”

Out of the mouth of babes, right?

So that’s exactly what we did. We had a bit of an awkward moment of trying to guess each other’s favourite colours (turns out we don’t know that about each other!) Then, we took turns being recognized. Each member of the family passed around our charm, again sharing a funny memory, story or what they most admired in us. They honoured our greatness. And by it being sparked by commemorating Auntie Sue and because she would have loved to be a part of that, it honoured her too.

Now, some of us felt more comfortable receiving public compliments than others (I for one, surprise, surprise had no problem!) However, we did it for her. And each one of us experienced that endorphin rush when you experience positive things. Who would have expected to feel better leaving a Celebration of Life than when you came in?

A few weeks later, I received a text from my cousin. She shared how much the day meant to her and her dad. And, she attached a picture. It was a shadow box containing four FROG charms – my aunt’s, my uncle’s, hers and her fiance’s. Today that is proudly displayed in my uncle’s front hall and it’s one of the first things you see. It’s apparently a common source of inquiry, and how lovely to retell the story of the day we all recognized Sue’s greatness together.

How can you honour your family’s greatness? How can you bring recognition into your family gatherings? How can it comfort you during a loss? How do you already do these things? Will you share your strategies and ideas below?

If you felt that this was powerful for you, or you know somebody who is looking for an idea about how to celebrate somebody that they’ve lost, why don’t you share the video or post with them? A problem shared is a problem halved, isn’t that what they say?

Sending you warmth, support, and comfort if you’re going through a difficult time. Recognizing your greatness in how well you’re handling it.

But I’m Exhausted: How to Recognize Yourself and Others’ Even in Overload

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An interview with special guest, Christine Laperriere, owner/founding partner of Leader In Motion and Executive Director of Women of Influence Advancement Centre. Christine is passionate about Women’s Advancement and helping them learn how to stay happy despite being so busy.  Learn more about the mindset and strategies needed to get through it all.

Sarah:

Today, I’m pleased to introduce you to my amazing colleague Christine Laperriere, the head of Leader In Motion. We were going to talk about something that we’re so passionate about- women’s advancement and the lack of recognition – but here’s the thing; we’re both showing up at 4:30 in the afternoon at the end of the week exhausted and we’re exhausted! Instead, we’re going to have a real conversation here about what it’s like when you are fatigued and the lack of recognition that comes when that happens.

Christine:

We can definitely have a talk about that because that is top of my mind right now. Doing all this work with the Women of Influence Advancement Centre is a big part of my day job. I coach women through their careers to help them move into promotions. It’s amazing because here I am; I’ve got a screaming toddler and an eight-month-old baby who’s teething right now. Basically, I’m juggling it all. Sometimes the idea of advancement in the first place is just exhausting.

Sarah:

It’s fleeting moments when we consider: why would anyone want to advance?

Christine:

True, When you are thinking, you have more than I can possibly handle. Please, I don’t need anymore! I see this a lot when I’m coaching women. I see them struggle with being exhausted and under these incredible demands and feeling like they don’t want any additional responsibility. They don’t want any additional leadership. I just got off the phone earlier this morning when a coaching client went from an individual contributor to over the last year and a half she was given a team of 10 and then another team of 10 and then another team of six.

Meanwhile, she’s a busy mom at home raising children. She just said, “All I need to do is get as much done as I possibly can in a day so that I can get home and be a mom,” which is another important job for me. Sometimes I think to myself, “How do we do this? How do we do this all?”

Sarah:

I too see with coaching clients that they internalize this: if I can’t get it all done I’m a bad contributor or I’m a bad mom or terrible spouse. It’s amazing how many of us look around and think others must have it figured out. Not only is it rarely true, but it also robs us of the opportunity to recognize our greatness, what we are doing well and what we are doing right.

Christine:

It’s definitely a matter of understanding how to manage the standard that you’re going to hold yourself to when you’re juggling more than one thing. I think one of the things that I was talking to her about was how, before I had kids, it was easy to find four extra hours. Not that my life outside of work wasn’t very important, but there were other things that I could try to delay, move or reschedule. Unfortunately, I can’t reschedule a teething eight-month-old! I don’t get the luxury of coming home from work and finding four additional hours while I’m juggling a teething eight-month-old. It’s interesting how the idea of balance, like the standard that we set on ourselves, it has to be modified for the number of demands that we’re carrying. The bar that I used to jump in my career was much higher. Today, it’s got to be a little bit lower so that I can manage it all. I need to be pretty good at a lot of things versus awesome at everything. I’ll raise the bar again next week when his teeth are here.

Sarah:

Maybe we realize the expectations don’t have to be that high anyway. Maybe we actually have much higher standards than we need to. Because one of the things that I’ve learned through the work you do in supporting women’s advancement and the research is that what holds women back is that we put our heads down, keep working harder, and expect our blood, sweat, and tears will eventually pay off. Not advancing? We do more. Then the bar is higher, not just for ourselves, but others have a higher bar for us too. We expect it’s going to get us noticed, but that’s not what happens, is it?

Christine:

Right. To bring it all together, I’m finishing a book called “Too Busy To Be Happy.” Ironic. Maybe you’ll understand why I feel like I’m an expert on this topic being too busy to be happy, but at the end of the day it’s juggling all of it and let’s say the bar that we put on ourselves, I still come back to, can you answer the question, “Are you happy?”

When we set expectations and standards that are so out of reach and then we start on that treadmill and we’re running, running, running, we end up losing sight of actually just being happy. I’ve made it a passion of mine to figure out how to be busy and happy. Somewhere along the line, the idea of this work-life balance thing came along and it made me feel like I needed to have a life on the top of a mountain and meditate for nine hours a day in order to be happy.

I felt like I was conflicted because I really love my busy life, but there are just moments where I no longer am happy. For me, it’s just trying to find out how do we be busy and happy. Not feeling quite so exhausted all the time.

Sarah:

It’s so important to be both busy, and not feel guilty about that, and happy. When we aren’t, we often aren’t living our greatness and not recognizing ourselves. What are some of your best tips for people to be able to recognize themselves even when they feel like they’re busy and perhaps not getting it all done? How can they still recognize themselves?

Christine:

I think it’s going to sound really simple, but the prioritization of the things is important. When you look at the amount of energy we’re trying to expel on so many different priorities at the same time, the first thing I end up doing when I’m talking to somebody is coming back to, what are the most important things? Such as, “Okay. I need to be an awesome mom and deliver fantastic results at work, but are those are the only two things or do you also want health, friendships, and other things? What are the things most important to prioritize?

If you have a sick parent, over delivering just isn’t in the cards, right? It’s about survival. Understanding what are those two or three most important things that have to get done right now. It’s funny. You can take a look at your day where you’re spending your time and see how well aligned you’re spending your energy and time with the two or three things that are most important. To me, it’s the fastest way.

One of the things I do all the time is I’ll say, “Open up your calendar. Where have you been for the last week or so? Let’s take a look at where you’ve been spending your time.” It’s almost instantly an “ah ha” moment for people when they’re feeling too busy to be happy.

Sarah:

I just want to take a moment to acknowledge, Christine, that in your busy day, you still valued and prioritized our relationship and our conversation.

Christine:

One of the things I’ll say on that note, it’s so funny because I’m very particular about where I spend time and energy. But if a relationship is bringing good energy and it actually raises my energy level versus depletes my energy level, I prioritize it. That relationship goes way up in my importance of things to do. I think that’s been one of the biggest things that actually helps me manage my stress levels. Our relationship is energizing for me. It made the top of my list when I did have a free moment to do a VLOG. Thank you so much for being a part of it. And thanks for the great work you’re doing helping people leverage recognition in themselves and at work.

Sarah:

If you want to learn more about Christine and her website is www.leaderinmotion.com. And we’ll be sure to keep you updated on Christine’s new book that’s coming out in early 2019! Christine, I hope you’ll come back for another interview!

Christine:

You’ve got it!

Recognizing Your Own Greatness First: Simple Strategies to Showcase Your Expertise with Confidence

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There are many ways you can recognize your own greatness.

Recently, I delivered a keynote speech to a group of college students. The focus was on nurturing and honouring their greatness to have a career that they love, rewarding relationships and be unencumbered by self-doubt.

What’s surprising is, following the speech, so many approached me to tell me what resonated with them was this revelation: they get to choose what their greatness is. That it’s not what someone else defines, values or picks for you. It’s in you and you can nurture it. These young new professionals somehow had the impression that others get to call the shots in their career.

Burgeoning professionals are not the only ones that have this revelation. So many of us are walking through our lives and careers, ignoring our greatness and living by someone else’s design.

What if I told you that you don’t have to give away your definition of your greatness – your talents, passions, and virtues that allow you to elevate to your true potential? What if I told you that there are so many accessible ways to share your greatness and reinforce your expertise without making a single change in other parts of your life?

Share your greatness by being a thought leader and posting articles. Join in and contribute to discussions on social media. Respond to media inquiries posted on Help a Reporter Out (HARO) that connects journalists and bloggers with relevant expert sources (you can subscribe to receive alerts.) Another great tool is, Ask Me Anything (AMA) where folks can ask questions of you about your expertise and experience.

The world needs your knowledge and you don’t have to have a Ph.D. in whatever your core passion and interest is to be able to contribute. Offer your expertise at conferences, interests when networking, passions when at work socials. Anywhere you go, stand tall in your greatness.

I hope this has been helpful to you to open up ways you can ignite your true passion in life. Even if you’re not practicing it yet, it’s a way you can exponentially show your brand and passion to an even larger audience.

Always recognize your greatness first because that is how you will be able to see and value and recognize the greatness in others. It is, after all, the root of F.R.O.G. – Forever Recognize Others’ Greatness™.

“How do I get it all done?” Three Perfectly Imperfect Tips for Busy People

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I really resonate with the advice: “get it done rather than get it perfect.”

There are so many things that we’re learning. Technology, new job functions, how to handle this new phase our kids are in… How do you get all the “normal” stuff done while there’s this constant state of change all around you and not lose sight of your greatness at the same time?

Stop trying to get it perfect before you get it done.

We have a desire and need to be able to understand how to do something before we can get started on it. We want to have one more review before we send it off. We don’t tell people about our interest until we’ve done more schooling, reading, practicing… But it holds us back from accomplishing incredible things. And, the longer we’re stuck in that inaction cycle the more we feel frustrated with ourselves, making it less likely we’ll put ourselves out there. We get caught in a trap where we’re not recognizing the greatness, paying close attention to what we can’t do as well as we’d like.

Can you relate?

There are all kinds of things that I don’t know how to do in business but I’ve just realized I need to start anyway. Just the fact I launched my biz with no biz training or plan is evidence of that (if you’re curious, learn more here). But turns out this not knowing has been a living laboratory for me. Join me in exploring a few places for practicing being perfectly imperfect but making progress anyway.

  1. Social Media

In the social media realm, we all know the whole game is continually changing. Not only are their new platforms all the time, the existing platforms keep changing (e.g., the introduction of IGTV to Instagram). But one thing that hasn’t changed is that when it comes to video, picture quality, and sound, authentic rules over polished and perfect. Unless you’re an influencer with millions of followers, no one expects perfect quality, makeup, background. They want value, value, value…give that and the rest is forgiven. By still getting out there on social media, you gain. More likes mean more folks see that post on their Wall. More followers mean you have more contacts as prospective bosses, clients, friends. More putting yourself out there builds confidence of being the real you.

  1. “Get It Done” Rituals

Of all the things on your to-do list, just pick one and do it. It doesn’t have to be the most important thing, it doesn’t have to be the thing that you know how to do. Just tackle one. You’ll discover that great feeling of achieving something which will propel you into a motivated state to tackle something else (juicy dopamine hit anyone?!) Sometimes, it’s more important to just accomplish something, even if it is not the most pressing thing, because it gives you the motivation to move forward, and then move onto that next most important thing.

  1. Role Modelling

My husband and father are working on renovating a big beautiful barn because this is where the home of Greatness Magnified is going to be in about a year or so. They’re not perfect as they’re self-taught and their talents lean in different directions given it’s an extension of their natural gifts. As a result, the barn won’t be perfect – the most exceptionally designed or perfectly laid out or exact right angles – but people aren’t coming for the barn. They’re coming for the motivation, education, and inspiration that happens in the training, retreats, and events that will happen there. If we waited to have the barn perfect and spend money on folks to make it that way, it would be years down the road before we’d be moving in. And the cost factor would likely be prohibitive. What matters most is that they’re contributing, giving, and nurturing; their way of supporting the business to grow, and make others happy. Expecting perfection, would not allow others to feel motivated to continue. Just appreciating that momentum is what’s most important. Their passion, heart, and soul they put into building it, together, will make it better than anything else anyway!

If you find yourself getting caught up in the perfectionism cycle, or feeling immobilized at the magnitude of change and learning in front of you, I hope you think of one of those three suggestions and examples.

And BTW, if you want more info and insight about how I launched my biz with this same “get it done” “perfectly imperfect” approach, you’re welcome to grab a resource I put together on www.greatnessbiz.com.

What tips do you have in getting it done?

6 Productivity Hacks: Get More Focused and Have Time for What Matters Most

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“I want to recognize more but…” One of the biggest barriers I hear from clients as to why they can’t recognize daily is that they feel overwhelmed. They are too busy. There is no time.

I get it. Busyness is a huge issue (which is why I did a recent VLOG on strategies to tackle it). There are so many competing priorities, how can one more thing get added to the pile?

However, what if something like recognition wasn’t another thing to do? If your busyness and lack of focus on it were actually stealing your time – think of how much time and effort it takes to hire and retrain when good people leave for greener pastures! What if there were simple strategies for redirecting your time to what matters most?

I have some efficiency tools to share with you that not only save you time, but they also help you to stop doing some of the things you don’t like doing anyway! Curious what they are? Here are six juicy productivity hacks I swear by.

  1. Leverage technology for efficiency whenever possible

There are several great tools for little to no fee to help with efficiency. A great example is self-scheduling apps like Calendly or group meeting selection tools like Doodle. No more back and forth emails to book a time with busy people; in just a few clicks, you can find the perfect time to meet, and stay out of email jail!

  1. Tackle the most important thing – first.

My wonderful virtual assistant blocks my schedule every workday I’m home until 9:30. It allows me to ensure I have enough sleep, eat a healthy breakfast, get the kids off to school, tackle one biz project at the start of every day, and then my official biz day starts. Before 9:30, I get part or even all of one important task done (versus feeling that dread all day long, “oh my gosh, what if I don’t get to it?”)

Now, you may be thinking, “Sarah, that wouldn’t work for me because I work for somebody else.”

I get it. However, is there no flexibility in blocking your time? And I don’t mean come in a half hour earlier; haven’t you found this just turns into your new start time after a while? I mean, can you block even one chunk of time at the beginning of your workday once a week to start? Ask any Executive Assistant to the CEO if they block their boss’s time (and the answer is yes, they do); so why can’t you?

  1. Down with (most) meetings

Do you have to go to all the appointments and meetings in your calendar? In previous leadership roles and with leaders I coach, when selection criteria is introduced (e.g., only attending if there is an agenda, cannot get the information from the minutes, an action is required), it is amazing how few meetings actually make the cut. And if you must go, do you have to physically be present or can you attend virtually? It’s amazing how freeing it is to have gaps in the schedule.

  1. Annual review

Review, on an annual basis, the things you are doing in your work or business and make a conscious effort to cut out 15% of tasks. If you’re in a team do this together. You will be amazed how many “nice to do” things you’re spending your time on that are actually optional. Every year, when I do my business planning, this is how I evaluate my time. I allow myself to have three core projects a year (which is tough because I love to have a variety of creative projects), and everything else is on hold. Then I look at the tasks that take up most of my time and force myself to cut 15% (either by deciding it’s worthy enough to keep so I’ll outsource it or not worthy enough for anyone to do it so it’s gone).

  1. Renewed approach to to-do lists

If you’re like me, you like to do lists. And no doubt you have a loooonnngggg one. Here’s an efficiency hack: have three lists versus just one.

  • 5-minute or less tasks
  • Today tasks
  • This week tasks (anything longer than this week isn’t a priority

The genius behind the 5-minute or less list is that when you’re stuck waiting because someone’s late calling you, a videoconference hasn’t started yet, or you get done your task sooner than planned, rather than just hopping on email, social media, or snacking (or worse, wasting that 5 minutes reading over your to dos and still not getting anything done) you can quickly knock something off the list!

  1. Blocking time

If you have a big project that requires thinking time, focused effort and no distractions, there’s no way I know how to efficiently and effectively do it other than blocking time. It’s not easy, I know. Writing my new book, I blocked the month of July to write. Some days, I’ll admit, I didn’t feel like writing, but I knew come August my time was up so I just kept going anyway. My speaking coaching, Jane Atkinson, blocks her mornings as productivity time. Others I know block one full day a month or week. Amy Porterfield (online marketing guru) goes away for the weekend once a quarter to “fix her business” as she’s growing versus reacting to problems. Whatever your thing is, you need to carve out the time.

Don’t forget to honour blocked time for rest and recharging too. Cutting into that vacation, your weekends and even dinner time with your family will catch up with you. Research shows you’re actually more focused and productive after a rest, so consider it an investment and not negotiable!

Okay, so now you’ve found time every day, you can get back to the important stuff, like spending time out of your office, where the value is created, with your staff. You can have time to learn, mentor someone or be mentored. You have the clarity to notice the extraordinary that happens in people’s ordinary lives and recognize it in the moment. And an infinite number of other important things that aren’t yet a priority for you.

What suggestions do you have to help yourself do a little less and more efficiently? Feel free to comment below! For more tools and resources head on over to www.greatnessmagnified.com or my YouTube Channel and subscribe for weekly updates!

Three Tips for Deciding When to Say, “No.”

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“No”. Why it so difficult for so many of us to say such a little word?

It seems like such a small gesture, and yet, it can have a huge impact on our productivity, focus, and happiness.

As our work and home lives become busier, being confident and willing to say no is more important than ever. It’s essential so that we don’t burn out. It’s the key to staying in love with our work or business. It enables us to keep time for the things and people that matter most.

Now, on the surface, some might think folks struggle with a lack of assertiveness. In actual fact, the individuals I coach more often express that they worry they won’t appear professional, they’ll seem disloyal, or they’re not a team player.

Besides this not being the case, there are other consequences of saying yes to the wrong things. You can get burnt out. You can get resentful. You might get so buried in work no one notices you and the extras you’re doing (this is particularly true for women; for more on this check out Women of Influence’s research 7 Pitfalls of Women in Business)

When we say no, especially when we say no to the right things, then we can do a better job on the things we say yes to. When we focus on the things that are most essential, we can get them done more efficiently and faster, providing that positive dopamine hit in our brain allows us to move on to the next thing. Not only that, we role model for others as well as discern and evaluate the most effective and important things you need to do with your time.

The question is: How do you know what to say no to?

I know this dilemma all too well.

About four years ago, I had a meeting with my business mentor. It was a challenging point in my career. I had climbed the corporate ladder, had a great job and title, a healthy pension and pay cheque, and stimulating work. However, my family needed more than I was giving them. One of my kids had been, struggling with mental health challenges for years and it reached the tipping point. But what could I do? I was in a senior leadership role and had a huge workload, carrying a pager 24/7 and feeling the weight of a growing workload on my shoulders. This was what I signed on for, though, and it was non-negotiable.

Or was it?

My business mentor said to me, “If you had to cut out 15% of your time what would you give up?” My immediate response was, “nothing,” but she said, “I don’t believe it. I’m the CEO of an eight-figure company and I could cut 15% of my time from work if I needed to, so why can’t you?”

So, I did. In that moment I realized – with my expectations, desire to contribute, and attempt to become indispensable – was putting the 15% on myself.

How can you cut back 15%? Well glad you asked! Say no in order to say yes to what matters most by:

1.Evaluating What’s MOST Important

If you or someone in your family became seriously ill, if you moved jobs and you had to cut out 15%, what would you cut out? Make a list. If you don’t know, start keeping track of the things that don’t matter. As soon as you add it to the list, start making plans to cut it. If you could do it for someone you love, you can do it for yourself.

2.Hire and Ask for Help

Decide on and list the tasks that you don’t need to do. Tasks that eat up a lot of time, are fiddly and take you away from the things you need to focus on in your work and business. Unless you are the only one who can do it, you love it, or it’s your superpower, consider a plan for how to pass it on.

Remember, it may not be your talent and strength, but it’s someone else’s. Give them a chance to shine. Give them a job. Give them a stretch assignment. Keep track of those things that you’re doing that you don’t love, things someone else can do better and more efficiently for you, and find the right person to take it off your hands!

3.Creating a Prioritization List

When I get a client request, I go through my Greatness Priorities. It’s my prioritization list that helps me decide if it’s a job I should say yes to or no to (often helping the client more by referring it on to someone who is a better fit in expertise or cost). It’s a mindset of “earning the yes” rather than scarcity thinking of accepting work out of fear.

To give you a sense of a list, here’s mine in order of most important:

I get asked to do a lot of things for free or at a seriously discounted fee. Not only will that mean I can’t stay in business for long, it takes time away from the people that motivated me to start this biz in the first place (my family). There’s only so much of me to go around – time and energy-wise.

What are your priorities? What makes a request an easy yes and what, when you think about it, makes for an easy no?

Would you like a few more tips to help you decide what you say yes and no to? Jump over to the Cool Stuff tab on my website for an infographic (you may want to share it with your colleagues and spouse!)

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