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Greatness Magnified

How much are you worth?

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Lately, there has been some interesting discussion on social media channels about how much money we should make. Some are even saying that we shouldn’t be putting a target number out there, or not one that’s ambitious. Or that when folks do they’re pressuring others to set their goals higher and there’s a problem with that.

Why dedicate a whole blog to this topic? Because it’s the comments I read that concern me. I see a pattern of a very limiting belief mindset. That we need to think conservatively and be happy with what we get. That if we have a decent income, then we sacrifice lifestyle. That we need to grow our careers and businesses slowly.

My question is, does there have to be an either/or? What if it could be a both/and? In other words, can we have the best of many worlds – make what we’re worth, and have the lifestyle we want, and still be present for family and other important elements of our life?

Furthermore, why do we have to be divisive on this issue of income? Do we have to dive ourselves into those who want “too much” and those who ask for “too little”? This is not an inclusive conversation, therefore, doesn’t enable cross-pollination of ideas and support. It doesn’t build everybody up.

We need to be brave enough to be having open conversations about what our financial goals and needs are.

We as women, who traditionally who have made less than men – and research still shows we do and that it takes 10 years longer to get to the top job if that’s what we want – need to encourage these transparent and striving conversations.

We need to consider financial goals on a spectrum and holistic in nature so it’s not “what do you want to make in your biz/career?” devoid of lifestyle, family, and other considerations. In other words, the elements that are important to us all.

The opportunity this brings is taking a look at what we really want and most value. You deserve to get paid what you’re worth. So, I want to share with you some of the secrets that I’ve learned from people who don’t have to compromise what they make in their business or income. People who haven’t compromise their health, lifestyle or good relationships to make what they’re worth.

1.Know your worth.

Charge what you are worth as an organization or negotiate your worth as a salary and don’t compromise. Are you willing to go somewhere else or work with different clients who don’t see that you are worth that amount? Not sure what it should be? Try this exercise recommended to me by my speaker coach Jane Atkinson.

Exercise: Write down all your education, experience, volunteerism, interests, courses, certificates, passions and anything else that makes you qualified, interesting, unique and fabulous. This unique package of greatness is what people invest in when they hire you. Consider: how much would I be willing to pay for someone with all of this? Write down a number. Read off the list to others and ask them the same thing. Knowing what your worth as a whole package (versus our limiting mindset of “there’s so many other equally or more qualified people than me out there”) helps you to stand tall in your fee or salary expectations and be willing to pass on opportunities that fail to align, creating space for the better fit to come along.

2.Top Level Performance.

Connie Podesta is a famous speaker in the U.S. who says, “I’m a 10 out of 10 speaker, that’s why I command the fees that I command. And sure, you could hire a two out of 10 speaker and pay less, but if you have your 10 out of 10 people you’re sending to the conference, why would you want to have a speaker that’s not also a 10?” Now, this is a woman who knows her worth! Love it!

And don’t you value the power of that statement of: “why wouldn’t you want to hire a 10?” Are you a 10? I’m assuming you are or darn close to it. If you perform at a 10, you deserve to work with other 10s, companies that are a 10, and do work that leverages your 10 talents. If you’re not stretched too thin by having so many clients and tasks that are well below your 10 status, you’re not staying top of your game. It’s better to earn a little more and work a little less, or if you’re in a situation where you’re not matched to that 10 team or organization, hold back a bit and give that to building a 10 out of 10 side hustle than keep giving your 10 in an environment not able to fully benefit from it.

3.Study the bottom line.

Getting paid what your worth may come first, but not letting it all go out the door is also important to consider. Have you ever thought “I’m doing pretty well” only to wonder where it all went at the end of the month? The temptation is, the more you make the more you spend. However, like any good business, you need to study those inputs and outputs on a regular basis (minimum monthly) and adjust accordingly. And, what do you have to take from that bottom-line to put toward your future?

Of course, the extreme of not studying and adjusting is that we go bankrupt or lose our business. Even if we’re not in that extreme position, worry about this can only hold you back. It gives you a mindset that you have fewer choices. We can get intimidated by our expenses or debt being so high that we feel we need to take any work and stay with clients or businesses that are a bad match. We feel trapped and stop demanding to be treated and paid what we’re worth. We had the misperception that we have no choice but in actual fact, we can adjust our habits and open up possibilities again. And it all starts with making good and consistent friends with our numbers.

4. Hang out with top performers.

Who do you spend your time with? Are they people who are living the lifestyle you want, earning what they deserve, know what they’re worth? Will they hold you accountable to do the same? They will say, “You deserve more than that“? Just as we spoke about you being a 10, hanging out with other 10s or those that can help you to perform at a 10 will help you stand tall in what you’re worth and learn the tricks from them as to how to do this consistently.

5.Know when to say no.

Know what you are not willing to compromise on. I learned early on I had to prioritize my decision-making criteria for my business or else I found myself saying “yes” haphazardly to work that didn’t feed my soul, bank-account or need to run a family-friendly business. I now filter all requests or potential work through six priorities (in this order of importance):

Priorities:

  1. Family-friendly fit (e.g., I can sleep in my own bed)
  2. Fits with my expertise & passion
  3. Pays what I’m worth
  4. I like the client/company (good alignment)
  5. I have capacity
  6. Opens the door to other possibilities

Let’s say someone wants me to go lower than my fee (which as you know by now valuing what you’re worth is a big deal to me and I hope for you too). I have to be sure it meets the first two priorities to a T and the rest as well. If it’s a charity of choice and they have no budget, but meets all the other criteria and I’m not capped out on my set number of charity speeches a year, that may be a yes whereas another charity that’s not on my charity of choice list and is far away from my family will likely be a no. Or let’s say it’s a company that will pay my fee but treats their staff badly and is only having me in as window-dressing, leaving my family behind for half a week to boot. Well, that also is likely a no. Don’t get me wrong, there are lots of yeses, but every yes and every no are an important decision. I am not doing an organization or association any favours if I say yes just because of the money or yes to a lower fee feel resentful as that event rolls around.

Exercise: List all the criteria for making a decision to accept a client or company (or to stay with one). Then

I encourage you to look at what you’re making in your business, in your income, and ask yourself, “Am I happy with this?” If you’re super humble, consider if a career coach, your best friend or closest mentor would be happy with it. It’s great if you are. If you’re not, which of those five things could you work on so that you could get to that place where you are satisfied and content and deserving every penny of what you’re worth? And you ARE worth it. That is part of your greatness and people are lucky to have access to your greatness.

Know someone who needs to hear what they’re worth? Share on.

Four Ways to Connect Quickly: Having Conversations that Matter

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I’ve noticed a theme lately where people are asking, “How do we have more meaningful connections?”

Some theorize this is a backlash to Facebook and the “Gram” –  that people are just sharing the best face of their life to the world. Maybe I’ve just got the whole social media thing all wrong and I’m showing way too many warts and all. Really, I think we’re pointing our finger at the latest trend when actually we could be asking a more powerful question: “How do we have more meaningful connections?” That transcends trends and time.

We need to ask this question more than ever before. We are a distracted society. We’ve got our heads down checking our devices. We’re so busy that our attention is focused on the discussion about the most valuable commodity that we have today and that we are spending so much time in our cars, commuting to and from work, driving our kids to activities and just occupying our life that we’re not spending the time connecting with each other.

Yes!  There is an opportunity!

We can engage in meaningful dialogue, and build these relationships very quickly, even with perfect strangers. For those of us who are in business, we can find connections with people that potentially could be great clients through having a different approach to a dialogue. I mean, how many times has somebody asked you, “How’s it going?“, and you just say, “fine” or “good“, but you aren’t! Or if you are it still deflates a potential powerful connection opportunity.

When we engage in meaningful dialogue, where we seek to understand, connect and learn about the other person, we ask different questions than people having transactional dialogue. And that’s how you get noticed. These conversations are what people remember. You stand out because you cared just a little bit more. You are memorable because of what you discussed.

We’re not used to having these conversations though. When I coach entrepreneurs to have more meaningful conversations when they’re networking, conversing with a potential client or even in their personal lives, they’re worried they’ll come across as “nosy”, “pushy” and put people off. But consider this: do you like benign small talk? No way! Do you like realizing that you have something in common with a perfect stranger? Yes! So, what if you could make this connection at the same time it takes to have meaningless small talk? And what if it led to a cool new relationship, partnership or even a sale?

Consider this unique and great formula – “F.R.O.G.” (no not my normal FROG – Forever Recognize Others’ Greatness™) – this time it’s an easy to remember formula of the four areas that you can relate to just about anyone on. In fact, you can download a list of questions that fall under each of these four here.

F – Family & Friends

Family and Friends. If you ask or start a conversation inquiring about people’s family and friends, people are so much more interested in having that conversation. It could just be, “So, what are your kids into?” You may find within three shares back and forth that you have a lot of things in common.

R – Recreation

Recreation. What do you do outside of work, or what do you do for fun? What did you do when you were a kid? What would you do if you had a windfall of $10,000? There are all kinds of questions that allow you to connect on a human level, and to learn about what that person most values because that’s how they spend their very limited and precious discretionary time.

O – Occupation

Occupation, and not just “what do you do?” You can learn that from visiting someone’s LinkedIn profile. It’s more than that. What do you love about your job? Why did you choose that degree? Did you take a different career path? You’d probably learn something about their journey that would benefit you, but also, it’s questions that people don’t normally ask individuals, particularly as they’re networking and building relationships for the first time.

G – Goals & Passions

Goals and passions. What do you think will be the most important achievement that you will have in your career? Do you have anything on your bucket list that you want to accomplish this year? Whether somebody has a bucket list or not, they probably have heard of the concept and they can come up with something. Again, by understanding what somebody is super jazzed about, how cool would it be to have a conversation about that rather than the weather?

If you were to add a fifth area to build out some meaningful connection questions, what would it be? What is your favorite question to ask or be asked?

I hope that’s been helpful for you in having a conversational framework that you can plant in your head the next time you go to a networking meeting, meet new colleagues, in a sales meeting, or want to have a deeper, more meaningful connection. If you go to my website’s, Cool Stuff page, I’ve put together some questions underneath the F-R-O-G that you can put in your toolkit and effortlessly practice using those strategies.

Want another dose of authentic connection? Why not subscribe to receive the Greatness Magnified newsletter and my YouTube channel to get your dose of greatness every week!

Three Hacks to Get Unstuck and Stay Motivated

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What happens when you’re feeling unmotivated? We all have days like that, and sometimes those days turn into weeks or months. Sometimes, it’s just the external environment that makes you unmotivated. Or it might be a rough patch in your personal life or professional career.

Lack of motivation and self-doubt can also seep in when we’re on a steep learning curve. Really any time we’re doing things outside of our comfort zone. We may get so unmotivated we just cannot take the next step. We get frustrated with ourselves and may even experience a lack of enjoyment; the struggle, the difficulty to keeping on keeping on, the plugging through it leaves us wondering – “is it just me?” We look around and see all these motivated people so happy and accomplishing great things. It deflates us further (for another VLOG, are those people quite so contented?)

In other words, when we’re feeling unmotivated, we see we’ve got a problem on our hands.

Or do we?

Consider this. Maybe it’s actually a cue to take a look at our life and see what expectations we have of ourselves, whether it be tasks, inflated hopes and high expectations.  Maybe it’s a chance to consider if we’re really happy and if our life and career is working as it should. Maybe it’s a chance to ask, “what can I let go of?” It’s also an opportunity to revisit what’s working, what’s worked in the past, and make shifts to fix a few things.

One of the greatest gifts of being unmotivated is that you get a chance to ask yourself, “How have I been on autopilot?”

For those of you who run your own businesses, keep your household going, are leaders or have an organization depending on you, you may feel an extra sense of responsibility to keep your motivation level high. Here are some suggestions that I use in my own life and share with my coaching clients when they find themselves unmotivated:

  1. Backtrack

Revisit the last time you were unmotivated. What helped you get back on track? You already have the answers within. You’ve done this already.

Four years ago, when we were going through a very serious family crisis, we had to make some pretty big decisions. I left my job to start my own business and the kids switched schools midway through the year as we moved to a new community. Circumstances and the monumental changes that were in front of us were exhausting, and many times, we were not motivated at all.

Looking back to that circumstance, understanding the steps we took to be able to figure out what that next path was, and to be brave enough to take it, makes it easier to follow those same steps now. In fact, I was so excited to do that, it got me so motivated to translate it into action, that I built a virtual program with all these steps called, “52 Weeks of Greatness: Satisfaction, Clarity, and Direction in Work and Life.” I work my own program because it worked in the past. What it reminds me is, if I could get through that difficult tie, I can get through other demotivating times. So, look at your own journey, about how you’ve been able to get motivated again because there’s gold in your experience.

  1. Practice a daily self-recognition ritual

When I first made the leap, I had no one telling me if I was on track or not. So, guess what I thought? I wasn’t on track! I had to start recognizing myself every day. Literally. I’d take a piece of paper (yes in the shape of a FROG) and acknowledge one thing a day that worked. At first, it was tough. Then it got easier and I’d think, “Oh I could write that down, and that thing, and that…”

How does this help with motivation? It celebrates your successes. It’s a concrete strategy or ritual that reinforces this too.

It’s like setting a goal. We’re more likely to do it when we make a decision and know exactly how to execute it in a simple way.  Then, when you achieve the goal (even if it’s a tiny one like writing an acknowledgement on a piece of paper), you get a dopamine hit, the juicy achievement chemical, that your brain loves which elevates your mood. Good mood increases motivation. See the cycle?

  1. Decide how you want to spend your time

Take a look at all the things that are taking up your time, particularly if you’re feeling overwhelmed; lack of motivation can come from being too busy and distracted – “where do I start?”

Ask yourself, “Is there something that I can put on hold or stop completely?” When I was feeling very overwhelmed, it almost paralyzed me from moving forward. What I noticed was that I had too many things on my plate for my business and that I was having to start making choices about family or work.

As a self-proclaimed family-first entrepreneur, I make choices every day about what to say yes and no to, which clients to work with, and even how far to travel for work based on fit with family and lifestyle. Leaving money on the table used to scare me (okay, it still sometimes does) but I am actually less motivated when I make more money but feel misaligned. What are your priorities? How can you use them to determine where you wish to spend your time and resources?

These are the top three things I suggest for you to get you back on track when you’re unmotivated. What additional tips do you have? Comment below.

Now, you may have read this not because you are the person who’s unmotivated. Maybe it’s somebody in your life. Maybe it’s somebody on your team, in your family, or a friend. Someone you know is a rock star yet they may not see it in themselves at the moment. Share this with them with a note you know this will pass and you hope these tips will help. And if it helps, I have three complimentary modules from the 52 Weeks of Greatness Program you, your friends and your colleagues are welcome to take (just click this link to take advantage of it)!

I hope you found this really helpful because:

10 Life Hacks: Lessons for Your Younger Self

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My life coach gave me an assignment about a month ago. I needed to come up with 10 lessons I’ve learned since my teenage years. Why? To celebrate how far I’ve come. And, so I could stay empathetic to my teens as they’re struggling through this difficult life phase.

In all honesty, I really wasn’t too keen on revisiting my teenage years. The homework assigned by my coach lay untouched. One day, while browsing through social media, I noted two very interesting things happening. One, the passionate group of teenagers in Florida, out of the tragedies they have experienced in the recent school shootings, are finding their voice, their message, and partaking in social change conversations that many adults are struggling with.

That was juxtaposed with some very troubling pictures and posts of teenagers who could potentially be making mistakes that they will regret for the rest of their lives. You know the types of pictures I’m talking about.

This turned out to be very powerful homework and sparked interesting conversations at the dinner table that night. Having conversations with our teens unearthed even more lessons learned and reinforced that we’re always growing, learning and evolving. What’s more, I think this reflection is something we can all benefit from.

I’m going to share my homework with you. By doing so, it makes me accountable to my coach and I’m curious if you’ll find value in reflecting on some of these lessons too. I will admit, I’m still working hard to follow a few (e.g., sleep). And I’d be honoured if you would share, in the comments below, what you resonate with and other lessons you’ve learned.

  1. This Too Shall Pass.

Didn’t we learn in Hamlet that patience is a virtue? Are you still struggling with patience like me? Furthermore, when we don’t hold onto the present or spend all our time looking in the rearview mirror at the past, we can get perspective that, sure, our circumstances may not be ideal (or maybe even downright rough) but it won’t last forever. Remember your first breakup? You’re over it, right? Whatever is going on for you right now, that too shall pass.

  1. Your Mess is Your Message.

As a speaker, we often talk about messes being the most important stories we share. It’s where our greatest learnings, growth, and perspective has come from and therefore, our most powerful message. Think this sounds fluffy? Well, there’s much literature on Post Traumatic Growth that demonstrates this to be true of people who have been through incredible tragedies. How did the messes you experienced as teen become some of our greatest lessons and character building moments? Let’s face it, as adults, we still have a lot of mess that we continue to work through. How is it here to serve you?

  1. The World Isn’t Always Ready For You.

My great-aunt, an incredible businesswoman, despite the fact she had been born to meager beginnings, was a very demure “5’11 and four quarters,” as she called it. She was used to being a black sheep and having to prove her value. She would say to me, “You know, Sarah, the world isn’t always ready for you. Just go and be yourself and wait for them to catch up.”  What a wonderful, important thing that was for me to hear as a 13-year-old. How is the world still not ready for you? What if you just went for it anyway and proved them all wrong?

  1. Embrace Differences.

I think our teenagers today are more equipped to embrace differences than we were. For us, we are struggling in organizations to be inclusive. Consider, how we can help our students, help teenagers and our communities to further embrace differences within themselves as well as within each other? How can we learn from our teens about how they see differences as a good thing? How can we help them with their mindset when they fall into the trap of wanting to fit in at all costs? And how can we bring these lessons into our own lives, relationships, and organizations?

  1. Find Your Voice.

Again, the teenagers in Florida, who I so admire, are finding their voice. They are creating social change and a discord that absolutely needs to happen in the U.S. about gun control. They risk not getting into the “right” college, being ostracized from their friends (one of the worst fates for a teen) and upsetting the status quo but the need to express their voice is so strong, they’re willing to risk it. How do we use our voice? How have we kept quiet when our gut was shouting out and what impact did that have? What would life be like if we could assert ourselves, and our teens do the same? Wouldn’t we be safer, clearer, more aligned, and happier?

  1. Your Best Friend Is Already Within.

Your gut will never steer you wrong, yet it’s often ignored. I have learned, many times over, that when I ignore my gut I live to regret it because my gut is my most accurate internal compass. I call it my Soul Judge. Teens can be hesitant to listen to their gut for fear of not fitting in, because they need to do what their parents, teacher, society wants them to do, and they don’t yet trust it. How can we role model, making tough choices by listening to our gut, being transparent about it, and the result? How can we encourage them to reflect on if they regret a choice, was it counter to what they knew inside they should or shouldn’t do?

  1. Sleep Is Important.

The number of times that I chose to hang out with friends or be on that phone call with a boyfriend, or to be studying and cramming, as opposed to sleeping, I dare not reflect on. When we get the right amount of sleep, we don’t experience stress to the same degree, we do our best work, are more focused and productive. Yet, the average adult gets two hours less sleep each night than is recommended. This is a lesson teens and adults keep relearning.

  1. Your Body Is Your Temple.

Not every temple is perfect, just like our body isn’t either. Have you ever travelled and visited historic ruins and thought, “This place would be nicer if all the rocks were still in place?” Your body is your temple, treat it as such, and don’t expect it to be perfect or ageless or flawless. Every wrinkle you’ve earned because you’ve been passionate, you’ve smiled, you’ve shown concern. Every dimple is earned through meals with good friends, holiday times with family and a zest for life. Every creak is your body’s way of reminding you what a wise long life you have already lived, and how lucky you are to still be here. Teens, just like many of us, need to remember that our body is our temple, so healthy food, plenty of water, regular exercise and everything in moderation helps us to keep going and it’s unlikely all those efforts will result in perfection. And that’s just okay.

  1. What you Believe Matters

What you want and what you believe in is right. It matters. What you think or want is more than what your friends or other influences think (again as long as it’s coming from your gut). Stand for what matters most to you. Even if it’s against the grain.

  1. What You Do Now May Well Come Back

What you do now may come back to reward or haunt you. Make good choices now and follow your, “Soul Judge,” to help keep you on track. On the Internet, there is no such thing as “gone”. What you do now may impact your future in academics, employment, relationships and brand (just ask past Presidents’ who, “didn’t inhale”). If you won’t want that photo, tattoo, party, to be something brought up at a job interview or with your prospective life partner’s parents, you may wish to give it a sober second thought. Adults, we’re still learning this one too, aren’t we?

That’s my 10 lessons, but what about you? Any lessons I’ve missed of what you wish you’d known as a teen that would allow you to be an even better adult to this day? Post in the comments below! Any wisdom you still endeavour to follow?

How to Start a Successful Business Part 1 of a 4-part series!

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Welcome back to Your Greatness Magnified and to this four-part series where I share with you what I’ve learned about building a successful business that you love. My hope is that it will benefit you in understanding the endless possibilities of going out on your own – whether that’s your current situation or something you’ve considered, “one day,” in the future. [Read more…]

2017-11-20 Interview with Tim Arnold

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Sarah:

Hey everyone, we have a special edition here of Your Greatness Magnified, we’re interviewing Tim Arnold who has a brand new book out. I am so excited to read your book, The Power of Healthy Tension, because it’s everywhere. Why do we have to read this book, Tim? [Read more…]

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