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Greatness Magnified

2017-08-14 Getting Unstuck Week 2

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Get a Little Less Stuck!

Welcome back to Week 2, where I hope to help you get a little less stuck in work, family, and life situations as part of Your Greatness Magnified.

So, last week we had some fun games using resources that you already have around your house and office. I hope you’ve been having fun and getting results with that. Now if you’re more logically inclined, or you simply just want to add more tools to your toolkit, this week we are going to look at the power of questions to help you get unstuck.

Here are the five powerful, solution-focused questions that are my go-to questions to help coaching clients get unstuck:

  1. What Do You Want?

I encourage you to grab your journal, or a piece of paper and pen, or to record it on an app on your phone, because the process of going through these questions and being able to replay it, or see it later, will bring you even further clarity than doing the exercise itself. So, the first question is, ‘what do you want?’ I really encourage you to use the second question very liberally—as much as you can.

  1. What is Already Working?

It’s really disruptive to our thought pattern to ask, ‘What’s working,’ because, of course, we are seeing it as a problem that’s not working. Keep asking, ‘What else? What else? What else?’ to figure out what else is working about your life and your situation. The question after that is, ‘What is possible?’

  1. What is Possible?

Now that you know what you want, you want to know what is possible. By knowing what’s working, you’re going to be much more able to expand your thinking, and consider all of the opportunities in front of you, possibly even some you had once ruled out! Again, what else, what else, what else to generate as many possibilities as, well, possible!

  1. What Resources and Knowledge Do You Already Have Available?

When you look at all the resources and knowledge you have available – connections, experience, past successes, education – you can see what you can leverage to realize what you most want. People want you to be successful – you just have to ask! The experiences you had, it can help you now not just in your past! You will no doubt feel you’re, in fact, better resourced than you realized when you initially considered this problem. What else, what else, what else?

  1. What Do You Want to Do Now?

Finally, the question that rounds out these 6 powerful questions is: ‘What Do You Want to Do Now?’ In other words, what’s your one next step? This gives you clarity and insight that allows you to see things differently than before, when you saw it as simply a problem that was unchangeable or hard to fix.

Bonus Question: What Else?

The first thing that comes to our mind is probably not the root of what we want. It’s probably not the root issue. The more you allow yourself to dig into ‘why do I want it,’ and ‘what is it about that’ by asking, ‘what else,’ the clearer you are going to get. That allows you to ask the next question.

Want a one-page poster of these five powerful questions? Click here!

What other powerful questions would you add? Share them in the comments or social media post! In fact, why not share this with others? You never know who is needing these questions right now! Subscribe to my ‘Youtube’ channel for a new VLOG every week that helps you magnify your greatness in work, family and life!

I hope you’ve enjoyed this VLOG. Special thanks to solution-focused guru, my co-author Brenda Zalter-Minden, for her contribution to this powerful approach!

Be well. Be great.

2017-08-07 Getting Unstuck – Week 1

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Welcome back to Your Greatness Magnified. Work. Family. Life.

This week and next week we’re going to be talking about, ‘How to Get Unstuck,’ because so many people tell me they’re frustrated when they get into a rut and they don’t know how to get out of it.

So, we’re going to start with having some fun. There are things that you probably already have in your house, and your office, and you probably don’t even realize just how helpful they are to help you get unstuck.

  1. Inspirational Books

How many people have been given inspirational books or cards and have them sitting around your office or house? When was the last time you pulled it off your shelf? Well, now’s the time. I’ve got a great exercise for you.

One of the greatest ways to get unstuck is to simply open to any random page and read a quote or paragraph. Then reflect on how it’s relevant to a current situation. How can it help you to reframe your current situation? What is relevant about it? What metaphorical meaning could it have? We are meaning making machines. We search for connections. Let’s leverage that natural human ability!

For example, I randomly opened one of these books to page 71, and read, ‘I am totally adequate at all times. I accept myself and create peace in my mind and heart.’ Cool. Okay, so I think that’s telling me to just decide that the VLOGs I’m filming today are going to be exactly what you, the recipient, needs. Not to be overly judgmental of myself and my performance. Wow, I actually feel a huge weight off my shoulders! Seriously! For real.

  1. Inspirational Cards

Similarly, with a card. You randomly take a card and assume that the universe has sent that card to you. Here’s one I just selected: ‘I find harmony and silence within.’ Hmmm, I think I can see the connection between those two things. I think the universe is telling me to just be chill, and okay with myself. I bet I’ll film better VLOGs when I do that. Silence my inner critic, and focus on adding value to you through these VLOGs.

  1. Children’s Games

Perhaps like me, you’ve got a stack of kids’ games, probably a bunch you haven’t used in a long time! You can take one out and play with a metaphor. I’ve picked, “Spot It”, a game where you try to see the one common image between two cards. I could use this to play with a metaphor. When I look at these cards, what jumps out at me? One of the images I notice is a snowman, and I interpret that as ‘cold’. What do I need to understand about my current situation and why I noticed ‘cold’? Maybe I am being cold to myself—I’m being cold versus compassionate with myself. Maybe I need to melt some of the stress and judgement. What would you see if you selected the snowman? How would that relate to your current situation?

  1. Dice

We all have dice. In fact, don’t tell me you don’t have a bin, or a junk drawer somewhere that’s got dice and you don’t even remember what game it goes with! You can roll a die to tell you how many minutes you have to deal with this particular issue. I rolled a 1. Great. I only get 1 minute to ruminate on the particular issue I’m stuck with. And then, after that minute—set your timer on your smart phone—you don’t get any more time to ruminate or fixate about it. I’m guaranteeing you, that even if you got a 6, it probably would be less time than you would normally focus on that issue.

  1. Cards

Lastly, cards. We always have a deck of cards. You can use them in a similar way as dice. The card you select is how many minutes you have. Here’s another way. The card that you pick, that’s how many ideas you have to come up with to try to address a current challenge. I drew a 10 of clubs. 10? I only got one minute to ruminate, and yet I selected a 10? I have to come up with 10 ideas? So, if I’m trying to address and get more sensitive and respectful of myself I need 10 ideas. Let me see. I could phone my mother—she is always really good for that. I could journal, I could book a call with my coach, I could ask my best friend for advice, etc. Just list 10 things, any ten things, and say to yourself at the end of that, “Which of those 10 things am I going to do next?” See? Unstuck. You have a next step!

What ideas do you have? Any fun and novel ways you use or have thought of through this post of how to get unstuck? I’d love to film another VLOG with your additional ideas. You never know how your ideas can help someone else when they need it most!

Any why not share this VLOG post with someone who likes to have fun, looking for new ways to solution find, or is, well, stuck!

So, grab those handy things you have around your home or office to keep them close at hand the next time you need to get unstuck. Mine sit on the top of my credenza, ready to use for my own reflection or to help a coaching client.

Come back next week, I’m going to give you some powerful solution-focused questions to help you get unstuck, created by my co-author Brenda Zalter-Minden. In the meantime, feel free to hop onto my website, and click on ‘Cool Stuff’ anytime you would like free resources. They are there just for you.

Be well…be great!

2017-07-31 Dealing with Disappointment

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How do you deal with disappointment?

In speaking with clients, reading studies, and reflecting on social media posts, it’s clear so many of us are disappointed with our work situations, our elected officials, even with our important relationships – enough to feel a heavy weight on our shoulders. So, how do we deal with disappointment so it doesn’t impact our quality of life and other relationships? How do we know what is a healthy amount of disappointment?

I think we need to look at a time in our past when we were disappointed and handled it well. It’s my experience as a coach that this is where we can garner great insight.

I remember my first work disappointment like it was yesterday.

How NOT to Land a Job

As a kid, people called me ‘an old soul’. Perhaps not surprisingly, at the ripe age of 10, I decided it was about time I entered the workforce. So, when I saw a sign posted in the window of the local greasy spoon, ‘Help Wanted,’ I had a sense it had been placed there just for me. How did they know I was ready for my first job?

I was walking back from the library with my mom, and said to her, “I just have to go in here for a second.” Mom looked kind of stunned as I just marched right in there, head high, big smile on my face. The owner with his greasy apron (they don’t call it a greasy spoon for nothing) and the wait staff, with their polyester diner uniforms, were sitting at the front table. They all looked up at the sound of the bell over the door.

Pointing to the ‘Help Wanted’ sign, I said, “Hi, I would like to apply for the job.” Much to my surprise, the owner just stared at me at first, then looked at his staff, then back at me. Then proceeded to burst out laughing. A deep belly laugh that rippled through his body. He looked at his staff, and then they were in hysterics too!

I started to slouch. Never did I expect this reaction. I looked down at my feet.

The owner said, “How old are you, little girl?”

I lifted my head and looked at him. “Ten.”

He started laughing again. “Come back when you are out of training pants.”

I slinked out of the restaurant. My mom’s eyes were full of sympathy. I am pretty sure she knew what was going to happen.

All the way home I wallowed in my disappointment. Just as we were walking up the front steps of our house, my mom said to me, “Sarah, not everyone will be ready for you in life.”

And there it was.

I had a choice.

I had a choice to see not getting that job as a reflection of me. Too young, too immature, too foolish. Or, I could see it as something outside of my control – timing, others’ perceptions, biases, employment laws, whatever. But I didn’t have to take it at face value. I just had to face it. Just be disappointed, and not attach self-judgement onto it.

So many of the books I’m reading, particularly through grounded in positive psychology (such as bestsellers Mindset by Dr. Carole Dweck and Grit by Dr. Angela Duckworth), encourage us to experience disappointment. To not ‘rob’ our children of the opportunity to experience so they can figure out how to handle it.

Thank goodness for that lesson.

As an entrepreneur, I joke that I experience more rejection than I ever did dating! But hey, if there’s one keynote spot and hundreds of qualified speakers, there’s a lot of folks who won’t get it; not all of them will be disappointed. How resourceful will we be if we focus on the disappointment rather than learning from some feedback, considering other opportunities, working on a project, and so on?

The work that I do now, as a speaker and a coach, where I help people see their potential, is also about helping people to manage those times when they feel disappointed in that moment. In fact, I can trace my focus as a recognition expert and professional coach back to that first job experience. How can I help people take command of their own lives and how they experience it, even when others don’t see their potential? How can they continue to chart their own course in face of disappointment, roadblocks and disbelief?

Do you see, value, and appreciate your strengths and potential more than anyone else? Are you your own biggest, raving fan? I’m not talking narcissism. I’m talking 100% belief that disappointment is just a thing, it’s not who you are.

The other thing I learned from that first job was, ‘fit’ matters. Even if I had got that job, I wouldn’t have wanted to work in a culture like that — a culture where they laugh at people. I was always the kid, that if somebody scraped their knee, I would be the only one in the class not laughing at them. I’d be the one going to try to find band-aids, and feel absolutely mortified that people were laughing at them. I help my clients remember that they deserve to, and can find that fit, so their gifts, talents, passions and virtues are valued and utilized.

As my mom shared with me at 10, and I’ve learned countless times since, the world’s not always going to be ready for me. I’m sure you’ve found the same thing – or not ready for your innovation, your invention, your business, your mindset, your deserved promotion. Just because they’re not ready, doesn’t mean you’re not. Patience is a soothing tincture for disappointment.

What did you learn from your first real disappointment with work? How has it impacted you to this day, in a good way? Share through a comment or reply. In fact, why not share this VLOG post with someone embarking on their first job, promotion, or life phase? Help them remember the value of the disappointment because guaranteed, it won’t feel like a gift at the time!

Want to explore in a complimentary coaching session? Jump into my calendar here.

Be well, and be great.

2017-07-17 Clarity

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What happens when you’re charting a good course, you are making progress, you are generally pretty happy about how things are going, and then all of a sudden, things start to fall apart?

That diet that you were on, maybe you are not as consistent. You were making really good progress on your business plan and making arrangements, when all of a sudden, that Netflix weekend seemed all too appealing.

Did you know the average Canadian spends about 30 hours a week watching television? Yikes! And even if you’re making good progress, but you’re still feeling a bit stuck; maybe you’re telling yourself, “How can I find enough time for the important things?” All I’m suggesting is you take one of those precious hours and you use it to do any of these things.

I know it works. Folks in my program, ’52 Weeks of Greatness’: Satisfaction, Clarity and Direction in Work and Life—a virtual program that includes coaching, where they are really in action and moving toward really powerful goals, these are some of the things that have worked best for them.

  1. Tie a Knot

One of the things, is to ‘tie a knot.’ But, if you know anything about tying a sailor’s knot, knots are not always tight, and locked. They can untie very quickly. In fact, they are very sophisticated. There is an artform to tying a knot.

How do you know what’s the right knot to tie? There’s a balance of it being loose enough that you can unravel it; examine your situation, and then there’s also that balance of it being able to be tense enough that you can keep things together even when there’s pressure.

So, that’s one of things I suggest to you. When things are starting to fall apart—retie your knot. See what you need securely in place, and how much do you need to have a little flexibility and give.

  1. Learn to Steer

The other thing I’m going to suggest to you is, you need to learn how to steer. Steering, for me, is all about, how do you say yes to the right things? Things that fill your cup; things that are moving you along toward your dream.  How do you say, no? How do you make sure that, if it’s not moving you in the direction where you need to go, that you are able to say no? In a respectful, diplomatic way, but you have to say no, because nobody is going to say no for you.

That’s one of the fastest ways you can find that hour in your day.

  1. Have an Emergency Plan

The last thing is, you need to have an emergency, or contingency plan. Sometimes the things that sabotage us most are the fears that we have in our head. I’ve shared with you in other vlogs, one of my fears is having debt. Another person’s fear is not having freedom.

Whatever your thing is that hangs you up, it’s going to show up even when you are successful. In fact, that’s exactly when it’s going to show up, because sabotage is when you are so close to breaking through your comfort zone, you have to sabotage yourself. Most of us do it.

So, how do you make sure you don’t sabotage yourself? You must find a way to anticipate what you will do to sabotage yourself, so that once you are there, you are able to find a way around it.

I hope you find these suggestions helpful, so that you don’t find that you are stuck, and that you can continue on your path.

2017-07-10 The Right Job For You!

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How do you know you are in the right role, running the right business, and are overall happy in what you are doing?

We are told that we should be happy. In fact, we are told Canada is one of the happiest countries in the world, the fifth highest. Yet when you look at, how do they measure happiness, it has to do more with physical health and political stability than it does with the most important thing we spend the most hours doing—working.

So, it is okay to question if you are in the right role? Even if you are, it’s a good question to ask. There may be something else you may want to be doing in that place.

Let me share with you three things that really work well.

1. Have an Anchor
Have an anchor, something that helps you remember what’s most important.  For me in my big change, it’s my barn, because it reminds me of the best version, the farthest version of what my dream is going to look like in my new business.

So, what’s your anchor?

2. Have a “Geocache”
Have a geocache, sort of mentality about your career. What are the important destination places you need to be? It’s not a question of, ‘Am I in the right role? Am I working for the right place? Is my business going well?’ It’s, what do you want to achieve along the way?

Don’t make it a map. Don’t feel you need to do ‘x,’ ‘y,’ and ‘z’ to get from point ‘a’ to point ‘b.’ It’s about, where are your core anchors? Geocache your career, and your role, so in fact, when you are on that path, you can take a right turn, you can detour. It’s just like when I’m tracing my path using Google in the car. Google will say, “There’s roadwork up ahead, would you like an alternate route?” I want to be able to say yes. Why on earth, would you not want to take a more efficient, and the best path forward? So, geocache instead of rigidly planning your route.

3. Bring Binoculars
The last tool I suggest to put in your toolkit, is a pair of binoculars—metaphorical, of course. You are going to need to zoom in on things, and get really clear on what you want to accomplish.

One of my clients, an amazing, talented professional, had to zoom in on exactly what she wanted to achieve, and be aligned in her next role, for her to find the perfect combination of the right salary, and the right culture for her expertise and what she could bring. By zooming in, and getting really clear on that, she had the confidence to turn down all kinds of other really great roles that weren’t quite the right fit.

At times, you are going to need to pull out your pair of binoculars.  You’re grounded in the fact that you know your strengths, your brand, what you most want and where you’re successful. When you find that opportunity, you can jump on it.

I hope these three things will help you feel more confident and that you already know what you need to do in your career, to mean you are in the right place. If you do need to make a shift, you’ll feel comfortable and confident when you do.

For some us, we need a little bit more direction and guidance as we’re moving through this path, and that’s why I developed 52 Weeks of Greatness: Satisfaction, Direction, and Clarity in Work and Life. It’s a virtual program that also includes coaching. If you want to learn more about it, click on the link.  I’m here if you have any questions!

2017-06-19 – O’ Clients Where Art Thou?

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How do you ensure you have enough clients?

In other words, how do you ensure you have a sustainable business?

And by the way, if you’re not a business owner, in sales or another role where you’re looking for, “clients,” substitute the word, “potential employers,” (for those looking for a first or new job) “team” (for leaders) or, “contacts” (for all of us…business is a contact sport…you need to keep building and deepening your relationships!)

So, getting clients.

I’ll admit. I’ve worried about this. It’s kept me up at night, particularly in my first year of business, the same way I know it does with many of my colleagues and clients. However, here’s the thing: that is a question from a scarcity mentality. That there are only so many clients, there may not be enough to go around, and you have to fight to get your piece of the pie.

How pumped are you thinking of it like that? Could there be a different, more powerful question?

Tip #1: Live in Abundance versus Scarcity

Look at professions that have just exploded. My field of coaching and speaking, for example, were pretty much non-existent 40 years ago. There weren’t huge conferences where they paid decent money to have great speakers share their expertise in an informative and entertaining way. There weren’t speaking associations or speaking bureaus. As for coaching, CEOs weren’t building into their employment contracts the need to have the support of an executive coach. People didn’t consider second careers in coaching. We didn’t even have the field of positive psychology to ground the field in. However, the work has grown, the professions have blossomed, and the client base has ballooned.

Why? There’s great value that coaches and speakers provide every day and in everyday life, in the full range of professional and personal realms. Everyone could benefit from insights of a speaker and the partnership of a coach. That’s the abundance mentality. That we can build value and build as a profession because there are more than enough clients out there, as opposed to scrambling to figure out how we’re going to get a limited slice of the pie.

This thinking need not be limited to these professions; what might happen if, in your organization or profession, you believed there already was enough clients who needed your services, products and IP (intellectual property)? How might this change what you focus on and how you do your work? How might this impact your working relationships and how you treat your clients?

And there’s more on abundance mentality (both in this VLOG and on my ‘YouTube’ channel); this is just the tip of the juicy iceberg of abundance thinking!

Tip #2:  Have a Unique Brand

What is the unique value you offer the world? What do only you (or your team or company) offer that can’t be replicated? What do you do better than anyone else in the world?

You have to know what your unique brand is. Not sure? Ask those who are already your clients. Your brand is defined by how others see you. Clients have many choices, even if they are limited. If they buy from you, they’ll have the answers as to why you. All you have to do is listen and then implement it more.

If you’re in the right place and offering unique value then you don’t have to worry, “How am I going to find enough clients?” Keep doing valuable work. It’s what you’re designed to do. If you don’t have any clients or they cannot tell you why you are unique then dig into your brand. Get brave and committed to doing what you were most meant to do.

Tip #3: Market Yourself (Your Company/Your Products)

At risk of stating the obvious, marketing is essential. I mention it because so many of us expect that either good work should speak for itself or we don’t believe we should “toot our own horns.” Well, who is going to do it for you?

So, let’s say you know you are doing what you’re designed to do. Yes, you likely have raving fans that will tell others (testimonials on your website, recommendations on LinkedIn, word-of-mouth accolades). Are you just waiting for folks to offer to rave about you though? Everyone’s busy. Maybe they would if you asked them. Why not ask?

You also need to tell the world what you’re doing (what’s in development, what you’ve accomplished, what you do well every day). And tell them why you do what you do. Share it through stories so it’s authentic and memorable.

Your social media profile is a way of continually telling the world about the value you offer. And I’m not saying, “sell, sell, sell,” I’m saying share who you are personally and professionally in a continuous way. Let people get to know you and like you. People are more likely to do business with you when they feel they know you and like you. And when I say, “you,” this applies to businesses as well as your team.

When you show the world what you are all about on an ongoing basis, people will see it and respond. People will notice, and want to be part of that world.

Tip #4: Don’t “Sell,” Add Value

Speaking of, “selling,” I’m not referring to it the way most people think of, “selling,” – that it’s a bad thing. Think of it as, “adding value.” How do you add value to your clients? What part of that value do your clients pay for? What part do they not? What’s the harm of having a range of ways clients can work with you; various revenue streams in your business? This makes it easier for each client to find the right fit for them; right budget, right timing, right touchpoint, right product. When you know you add value, not only does it become less about, “selling,” your business also becomes a heck of a lot more sustainable long-term.

If questions such as, “How am I going to find clients? How am I going to make enough money? How am I going to build my business?” keep you up at night, go back to the question, “What is my way in which I can add value in the world?” Your clients will come, if, and when, they need that value.

What other tips do you have to get and keep amazing clients? This is just the tip of the iceberg!

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